Tonight at 10
By briantologist | May 9, 2011
One of my favorite things is when the DVR starts recording in the middle of a sentence. This goes double when it’s a news promo. This goes triple when the sentence fragment is the one I just heard in this context:
“—wading into the snake-infested floodwaters.”
Topics: Fucking Awesome, Stuff, Television | No Comments »
This Poo Shall Pass
By briantologist | April 15, 2011
There are any number of arguments against Facebook, many of which I subscribe to myself.
But when a website offers you the phrase “Mailman shitting in someone’s yard” and gives you the option of clicking a “Like” button underneath it, it’s hard to call that anything but a win for America.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings, Fucking Awesome, Hoo!, The Internets | No Comments »
That Sound You Hear is Your Whole Entire Brain Imploding
By briantologist | April 13, 2011
You’re welcome.
(extra wonderful props to Laurel for this.)
Topics: Fucking Awesome, The Internets | No Comments »
Every Day an Adventure
By briantologist | April 12, 2011
ME: So how was your day at school, Henry?
HENRY: Well ... Guess whose pants these used to be?
Topics: El Chico, Exciting, Possibly, Fucking Awesome | 3 Comments »
Once More From the Top
By briantologist | April 11, 2011
I think maybe it’s time I started doing something here again.
Here’s the thing: I’m not blaming the fact that I’ve been slipping gradually into being a shuffling nonentity on my lack of writing here. Really more on my lack of writing in general.
Something always bugged me about this website before, though: I was plagued by a general sense of purposelessness. That is, I didn’t have a clear idea of what it was I was trying to accomplish here. Record thoughts for posterity? That’s none of anybody else’s goddamn business, frankly, and there’s more than enough of that shit sitting around the Internet as it is. Change the world? Shut the fuck up. Vent? See previous two responses; combine.
So the new rule is this: Funny shit only. I like this plan, and I’m excited to be a part of it.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 1 Comment »
Well, hello.
By briantologist | April 19, 2010
Welcome, you. You must be tired. I certainly am.
Look, here’s the thing: Keeping this site was fun for a long time, and I think some good stuff has definitely come out of it. We’ve made friends with some terrific people, and that’s by far the best by-product.
But clearly it’s just not doing anything for me anymore. It hasn’t been doing anything for Erin for several years, which is why she called it a day long ago.
So I’m hanging it up. Life is short, and while it somewhat pains me to state it outright, more often than not, I wrote here when I didn’t have anything in particular to say. Writing like that doesn’t make you a better writer. It gives you something to halfheartedly point to when you’re trying to make yourself feel better about your own lack of productivity. I’ve been fucking around for far too long, and I sure as hell am not getting any younger. So it’s nothing personal, but I’m gonna use my words a little more carefully, and for a purpose.
But!
I’ve started writing at This Land, a web site about Oklahoma life, which is funny since I haven’t lived there for four years and don’t plan on returning. I’m enjoying it so far. Perhaps if you go there and read, you will enjoy it too.
Sayonara, persons. Thanks to you all.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 3 Comments »
The Day Henry Had a Million-Dollar Idea.
By briantologist | March 1, 2010
Henry: Okay, how about this! It’s a chocolate bar, and when you rub it on your skin, it makes you stay alive forever!
Me: (silently nodding in agreement, secure in the knowledge we do not have to worry about saving for retirement.)
I mean, seriously, think about this.
- Who doesn’t love chocolate?
- Who doesn’t love immortality?
To those who discount the public school system I say piffle.
Topics: Beans!, Fucking Awesome, NaBloPoMo | 1 Comment »
The Day Henry Took the Gold.
By briantologist | February 28, 2010
Henry: “Look! I got a gold medal, a bouquet of flowers, and even a magazine! All from speed skating!”
Me: “You’re really good.”
Henry: “I trained.”
Topics: Beans!, Exciting, Possibly | No Comments »
The Day I Saw an Ad That Was Awesome.
By briantologist | February 19, 2010
“I’m on a horse.”
Topics: Fucking Awesome, NaBloPoMo | 4 Comments »
The Day I Read a Really Terrific Story.
By briantologist | February 18, 2010
Apparently it’s been making the round on the Internets of late, but I read this story about Roger Ebert for the first time today and it moved me in a way I have trouble fully expressing. I love reading about him and his wife, and how they are when they’re together after decades of marriage. I love how you get to see him giddy after an incredible film. Reading about his face now that it’s half gone, I could completely picture him enraged or morose, even with his strange loose smile permanently hanging where his jaw isn’t.
It’s just an incredibly fucking well-written story, is what I’m getting at here, and the bonus is that Esquire links to Ebert’s response (also good) and a profile Ebert wrote of Lee Marvin in 1970 that Ebert considers among his best work (it is). I am now compelled to read Chris Jones’s other stuff from Esquire; if it’s a tenth as good, it’ll be worth looking into.
Topics: Fucking Awesome, NaBloPoMo | No Comments »