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Thoughts on “America’s Next Top Model”
By briantologist | June 24, 2003
First of all, these girls are idiots. Second of all, see first thing.
There’s one girl who’s really cute, but she’s like way, way, way too skinny, though I’m pretty sure that’s not considered a liability in the fashion industry. And so, like, the entire episode these other girls WILL NOT SHUT UP about how they’re POSITIVE this girl’s got an eating disorder, and not to cast aspersions on these girls’ faculties or anything, but let’s just say they’re nowhere near smart enough to *hint* about their thoughts about said girl’s eating disorder. Let’s just say they’re not smart enough to beat my cats at the SATs, while we’re casting aspersions.
I mean seriously, these girls are idiots. And more than one of them are REALLY into Jesus, which is one thing, but they WON’T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT IT, which is totally another thing. Like, an unpardonable thing. It gets kind of hilarious, though, because, um, can you picture a supermodel who won’t fucking shut up about Jesus? Neither can the photographer.
Oh yeah, and I think there’s something seriously wrong with this one girl who’s really into her mom — at one point Darleece and I both heard her say about her mom, through a wall of inexplicable sobbing, “I mean, she ain’t never seen da Times Square or nothin’!” In the next scene, her mom shows up for dinner, and she doesn’t seem to have a fatal disease or anything, so I don’t know what the fuck this girl’s sobbing about. I mean, I’m guessing mom had the means to buy a fucking plane ticket and see Da Times Square on her own time, but who knows. Later in her little “confessional,” she was talking really low and slurring big-time. I think maybe she’s brain-damaged. Darleece thinks so too.
Finally, it should be said that our host, Tyra Banks, is like a billion times hotter than any of these girls on here. Plus these prospective models get “Tyra Mail,” or as we like to call it, “T-Mail.” It should go without saying how happy I’d be if I got T-Mail on a regular basis. (“HEY, Megalodon! How you doin’? This is TY-ra! Just callin’ to say wassup! Okay, bye!”)
Topics: Television | Comments Off
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