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“No way! Not to this car you don’t!”
By briantologist | December 30, 2003
So right now, on two separate pay cable networks, are two movies with some striking similarities: “No Man’s Land” and “Catch Me If You Can.” To address the first parallel between the films, neither film is the one you think it is. “No Man’s Land” is not the highly acclaimed wartime drama about the Bosnia-Herzegovina conflict, and “Catch Me If You Can” is not the sorta decent adaptation of Frank Abagnale’s book about his truly remarkable days as a world-class con man. (In a sorta fascinating side note, Abagnale now lives in, and runs his consulting business from, Tulsa, the diamonelle of the lower midwest. I believe he was looking for the most anonymous place he could find, and I’m pretty sure he found it. But I digress.)
No no no, dear reader. And rather than “dear reader,” I should probably just address you by name. No no no, Sarah, Erin, Barrett, and person who ended up here looking for information about the Megalodon. This “No Man’s Land” is a middling ’80s undercover melodrama starring an oddly smooth young Charlie Sheen and none other than heartthrob D.B. Sweeney.” And this “Catch Me If You Can” is a high school drag racing comedy starring … well, no one.
Almost no one.
This brings me to the most compelling thread binding these two eminently forgettable films together, a beloved piece of cinematic gristle that’s been making Hollywood larger and more marble-mouthed for decades: None other than M. Emmet Walsh.
You need a large man who’s kinda crazy and incoherent? M. Em’s your man. Equal parts shambling drunken grandpa and shambling kindly drunken grandpa, MinEm brings to any film he inhabits a power, a stature, and — I can’t emphasize this enough — a unique incoherence that leaves any filmgoer transfixed during his time onscreen. At least, any filmgoer amused by large, grizzled, marble-mouthed old men.
The moral of this story? Twofold.
A: Though the presence of M. Emmet Walsh makes any film better, there are still some films he cannot save, even if they, like “Catch Me If You Can,” contain the line “No way! Not to this car you don’t!”
B: Having a week off for the holidays, as I do now, fucking rules.
Thank you for your time.
Topics: Fucking Awesome, Television | Comments Off
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