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    • Archive for February, 2004

    Busted

    Tuesday, February 24th, 2004

    Manomanoman, have I ever got the “The Wife and I Get Paid Monthly and We’re Both Broke-Ass Briggity Broke Broke” blues. It’s nothing like the lonesome lovesick blues, in that it actually requires that you not be very lonesome (cuzza the wife part) and at least not lovesick enough to still be married (see the [...]

    What’s not to like?

    Saturday, February 21st, 2004

    It’s come to my attention that my bosom chum The Cheat has a problem with Owen Wilson. Max Power called from their mutual workplace and angrily demanded I explain why The Cheat is patently wrong in his dislike of Mr. Wilson. I can understand his confusion, as I can’t for the life of me figure [...]

    “What year? WHAT YEAR!?!“

    Wednesday, February 18th, 2004

    Reason number two hundred and thirteen why it’s good I’m married to Darleece: She reminds me that artists other than Tom Petty are still producing music, now that Johnny Cash is gone. I’m not saying I tend toward musical complacency, but left to my own devices, I’m fairly certain I’d devolve into one of those [...]

    sabotage

    Saturday, February 14th, 2004

    Every time I hear the first two notes of that Norah Jones song, the hit from her first album, I immediately think of the first two notes of “King of the Road” by Roger Miller. At which point I immediately begin wishing I were listening to “King of the Road,” by Roger Miller. All of [...]

    Punctuation junction, what’s your function?

    Wednesday, February 11th, 2004

    A few weeks ago, a friend of mine from the newspaper where I used to work asked me to be a presenter at a seminar on press releases. Since I’ve managed to work in the media for several years now without ever having come within 400 yards of having to write a press release, I [...]

    Tattoo me

    Sunday, February 8th, 2004

    So apparently the notion of tattoos being addictive isn’t utter hogwash, because ever since I got one on my left forearm, my right paw-holder has been feeling a wee bit nude. Apparently this means there’ll be a field trip to *Fayetteville sometime soon. The problem is, I’m not clear on what to get on there. [...]

    with your bitch slap rappin’ and your cocaine tongue

    Friday, February 6th, 2004

    For the life of me, I couldn’t tell you why it’s taken me this long to download “You Could Be Mine” and finish destroying my hearing with it. Rest assured, the situation has been remedied. And this song rocks so hard I’m gonna run out and beat the fuck out of the first person I [...]

    Meanwhile, back on television …

    Wednesday, February 4th, 2004

    Our marvelous, fertile season of reality TV continues. Last night we were treated to the song stylings of … I don’t know. Some fucking bunch of morons on “American Idol.” It wasn’t nearly as gratifying as the first rounds of auditions were, but at this point the show’s got its hooks in me pretty deep, [...]

    Super MacGyver Action

    Monday, February 2nd, 2004

    So I’ve never really thought of myself as all that resourceful a person. Or all that handy. My on-the-spot problem-solving abilities peaked the time I found a coffee filter to blow my nose on when no kleenex were available. Ah, but that was before my jaunt to Oklahoma City yesterday, when, at the toll plaza [...]