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Punctuation junction, what’s your function?
By briantologist | February 11, 2004
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine from the newspaper where I used to work asked me to be a presenter at a seminar on press releases. Since I’ve managed to work in the media for several years now without ever having come within 400 yards of having to write a press release, I decided I’d be best off spending my time berating people’s bad punctuation, which is one of the things I do best. (It’s a niche market, but a necessary one.)
I made up a Powerpoint presentation and everything, as when you’re showing people how to punctuate, it actually does help to have the stuff up there for them to see. And I gave the presentation, and I think it went well. Maybe a little too well, as one of the people at the seminar asked me to give my presentation to one of the media writing courses she teaches. Which I’m doing tonight.
I’m kind of flattered, I think. But the whole scenario raises a cautionary note: Don’t do too well, or people will think you know how to do stuff, and you’ll have to do more stuff, like prepare talks and file things.
One thing I don’t mind doing is recaptioning a certain daily comic strip I won’t name here for fear of legal reprisal. I’m pretty sure I already e-mail said comic to all six of you every day, but just in case you haven’t seen it, here’s a link to my pal Gregger’s blog, on which he posted the comic I did yesterday.
I mention it mainly because when I try to make people laugh, there are certain parameters I set up for myself: Would this make a stranger laugh? How about somebody who knows me, and knows my schtick? Greg and I have been friends since middle school, and he’s one of the funniest people I know. As a result, he’s very high on my laff-o-meter achievement scale, and so almost making him choke on his chocolate milk is a high honor, in my book.
Topics: Stuff | 1 Comment »
March 13th, 2004 at 11:27 am
The Cheat @ 1:15PM | February 11th 2004| permalink
I would have to agree. Having an idea how to punctuate and spell are two things that somehow slip by most members of the media. Present company included. It’s almost like knowing how to change a tire. It shouldn’t be difficult, but it is. It’s also like having some clue on when to use now and know. I have english.
Cheers!
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the eligible Ross A LIncoln @ 3:15PM | February 11th 2004| permalink
Brian, of all the people I know, noone else comes close to using profanities with greater hilarious precision. Also, I heart that you incorporated that long overdue Famizzle Cirizzle neccesity, Nuclear holocaust.
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megalodon @ 3:23PM | February 11th 2004| permalink
Hey thanks, Ross! That’s one of the things I like to think I do well at, and it’s very nice to hear I’m not just deluding myself. I’m a firm believer that there’s a precise way of using profanity that, if done correctly, can really bring a phrase to life.
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Sarah @ 4:00PM | February 11th 2004| permalink
You should hold a Profanity Camp for tweens, because there’s nothing worse than kids who’ve just discovered swear words but don’t know how to use them properly. It’s like handing car keys to a baby. That ain’t the way that it’s done, son.
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Megalodon @ 5:53PM | February 11th 2004| permalink
That’d rule! It’d be like Ted Nugent’s bowhunting for kids camp. Only I’d be less of an asshole. Well, a different kind of asshole, anyway.
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jwer @ 7:38AM | February 12th 2004| permalink
so I originally linked here off Greg’s blog, which I linked off… um… some other blog… but I saw the comic yesterday, and it made me exceptionally happy. So, that’s 7. Congrats.
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Joey Zee @ 12:02PM | February 12th 2004| permalink
Brian, to better illustrate today’s story, I say you post the actual Powerpoint presentatation you used. That way, we can once and for all rid this world of signs that read “employee’s only.”
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greg @ 2:51PM | February 12th 2004| permalink
Brian,
You’re acting like this is the first time you’re almost crippled me with your hilarity. You’ve been cracking me up since middle school. Luckilly for both of us, our senses of humor have evolved since the days of the “Bodily Functions Squad”.
The misuse of profanity reminds me of the time back in high school when you saw one of the nerdy kids get so pissed off that he started screaming a string of cuss words he had no idea how to use. I think it went something like “You shit fuck fuck fucker!”
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Erin Lady Byrne @ 6:20PM | February 12th 2004| permalink
Gregger, Brian is always very proud when he cracks you up. I am too.
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Barrett @ 3:17AM | February 13th 2004| permalink
Y’know, as a former proofreader who was fired for sexual harrassment, I’ve always been appreciated for my skills too.
Up until coming really close to taking a bath with my junior-high-school sweetheart during an office party that is.
Oops. Did I admit to that? Uh, I guess I did.
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the eligible Ross A LIncoln @ 7:01PM | February 13th 2004| permalink
I’m sorry, but all I can think about is: “It’s turkey Time, Gobble Gobble”
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