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Hooftastic
By briantologist | March 19, 2004
Day one of “Operation: Walk Your Tubby Ass To Work” is under way. The first half went pretty well; I forgot to time myself, but I think the walk came to a little over twenty minutes. A little sweaty upon arrival, but it’s humid and I’m wearing long pants, so on the whole no big surprises. I got kind of a late start, so I missed the morning rush-hour traffic, which is nice.
I’m trying to figure out what to do for lunch. Or more specifically, I’m trying to figure out which fast food place within walking distance I find least objectionable and is cheap enough to accommodate my stunning lack of funds. There’s the other thing: I try to not buy fast food as often as I can, on a matter of my own half-assed version of principles. I blame Eric Schlosser for writing “Fast Food Nation” and telling me how the fast-food industry shares the bulk of the blame for keeping the minimum wage well below the poverty level, the fucks.
So whatever, I try not to eat at big chain fast-food places. Which works better some days than others. Tulsa has some solid local sandwich places, and most days I just eat at the cafeteria here on campus anyway. But some nights, when the cupboard’s empty and I’ve got five bucks to my name — not enough to buy groceries, but enough for a couple of bean burritos and a Mexi Dips ‘N’ Chips from Taco Bueno — some nights, those principles of mine lose their grip on me. Or vice versa. Whichever version ends up with me eating Mexi Dips ‘N’ Chips.
Speaking of which, I’ve got four dollars to my name, Taco Bueno’s three blocks away, the cafeteria’s closed, and man, is it ever lunch time. Dear principles: I promise I’ll call you when I get paid. Regarding the Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuits from McDonald’s, I just apologize: That monkey’s signed a long-term lease on some prime real estate north of my ass.
P.S. — On my way home, the decision was made for me that I absolutely have to get a digital camera as soon as I possibly can. This came about after I discovered, beneath the Broken Arrow Expressway overpass, a dirt- and pigeon shit-encrusted lavender lacy brassiere. This illustrates my favorite part of walking: The fucked-up shit you find along the way.
Topics: Stuff | 7 Comments »
March 19th, 2004 at 1:07 pm
I dont think anyone can be blamed for enjoying a Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit. Think of it this way, if you dont enjoy it….the terrorists win. Right?
Bueno, not so much, the McDonalds breakfast…I dont think anyone should keep themselves from that.
March 19th, 2004 at 3:19 pm
Walking to work? I’d have to live in the same building. I used to take my dogs for drives, she was on a leash though. No walking for me.
March 20th, 2004 at 9:36 am
Walking rules. You have to be a bit more organized but the stuff you can see and here makes it worth it. One game I enjoy is to Jay-walk in front of cops whenever I can.
Oh, an iPod is fun for walking too but I would get a digital camera first.
March 20th, 2004 at 10:05 am
Dude, you’ve completely isolated my consumer electronics conundrum: Do I take the cash I’ve been squirreling away and get an iPod, or a camera? I’ve been leaning toward camera in days past. Plus I hear them Discmen that play MP3 CDs are not unlike iPods in their capaciousness, but only cost about fifty bucks. I think that might make a nice stopgap.
March 20th, 2004 at 12:14 pm
That reminds of that Onion headline, “Giant Bra Found in Woods.” Buy the digital camera.
March 22nd, 2004 at 2:48 pm
I’ll dissent, and vote for the iPod first. Here’s why: You can buy a $70 35mm film camera (you might already have one, in fact) that takes pictures as good or better than all but the higher-end digitals, and you can get that film burned to a CD-ROM pretty cheap, and there are your pictures, ready to fuck with or upload. A digital camera is nice and all (I have one, I like it), but you can get approximate the experience without it.
The iPod, however, is hard to emulate. The MP3-CD player doesn’t cut it, I promise. It skips, and it doesn’t hold more than a few hours of music. Plus, you have to actually burn the CDs.
I’m a big iPod booster. It’s not often that I wholeheartedly endorse a consumer product, but the iPod lives up to the hype–it’ll change your life, motherfucker, in a way that a digital camera just won’t.
In case you cared what I think. By the way, big props for walking to work in Tulsa. You’re my hero.
March 23rd, 2004 at 10:27 am
Thanks, man. I’ve pretty much got the streets to myself, which makes things nice. I got panhandled the other day, which made me feel all metropolitan and shit. Except I couldn’t really afford the quarter I gave the lady, which brings up a whole other series of humorous questions.