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Local Man’s Ass Kicked By Week
By briantologist | March 26, 2004
I’m pretty sure this week kicked my ass. I’m pretty sure this week beat me into a pink smear, then stepped in me and smeared me across the linoleum. I’m pretty sure I need some sort of coma this weekend just to break even.
I get no such coma. What I get is another weekend of near-empty bank accounts and a no-expense-paid trip to beautiful Stigler, Oklahoma (“Gateway to McCurtain County!”). I like Stigler, is the thing. There’s a certain bullshit-free calm that comes with visiting Darleece’s tiny grandparents, and nearly her whole clan on that side are quality people, with the exception of the one who keeps trying to sell us long-distance service.
But like it or not, I sure would like a raincheck on this trip, ’cause me and the couch have got some catching up to do. Fuck me runnin’.
Seriously, this week is still beating me up! Just thinking about it makes me cringe with the memory of it! It’s either our stupid jackass sonofabitch fundamentalist know-nothing shitbird Republican ass-fuck houses of Congress deciding that fetuses are people (and really, if that’s the case, shouldn’t pregnant women get two votes?), or our knuckleheaded brainless moron frat-boy first-runner-up-in-chief rustling up every bit of horseshit scripted public denial he can to counter the facts of what he and his B-list “GOP’s greatest hits” cabinet didn’t do to keep those guys from flying those planes into those buildings.
I’m telling you, sometimes I think this world was never meant for one as beautiful as me. Sheesh.
Anyway. Thank the gods Jimmy Jam and Danger Lady just showed up with a bottle of wine to stop me wallowing. It was getting deep in here.
Topics: Laments, Rage | 4 Comments »
March 27th, 2004 at 1:33 pm
Oh shit. Jana IS Danger Lady! You should get paid to make up nicknames, Brianbyrne.
March 27th, 2004 at 2:35 pm
Danger Lady may be the funniest nickname ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2004 at 1:44 pm
Yeah. She liked “Little Scrapper” better. Thinks Danger Lady makes her sound old.
I wanted to tell her it had nothing to with the “sound”, but didn’t have the balls.
April 1st, 2004 at 9:15 am
Wow. That’s a really funny line, and that’s exceptional restraint you showed by thinking of it and not saying it (one of the hardest things in the whole world to do, I’m thinking).
Li’l Scrapper is awfully good, though. I don’t know, though. I’m kind of sold on Danger Lady. Tell Jana nobody thinks she’s old. We’re far too busy thinking about how old you look to think about how old she might actually be (not old, incidentally).