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A Hand Down By the Liver
By briantologist | April 19, 2004
As of 6:34 p.m. CDT Monday evening, it’s weekend: 2, liver: -14. Jumpin’ Jesus. You know your hangover has legs when you don’t feel well-rested the day after the hangover. Not the day after drinking, the day after the hangover. In other words, I think I had a hangover hangover today. Sheesh.
That notwithstanding, it was a capital weekend all around. Darleece’s* birthday party, like, fuckin’ finally happened, which was nice. We spent some quality time with the front porch. I spent some quality time visiting with visiting Ross. And then I woke up on the couch at 5 a.m. with the TV on and my hand in a bag of Fritos.
If I had to choose a single frame to render in oils, so as to sum up my weekend, friends, that’d be it.
Though today at work a guy I know told me about how, while in the process of throwing up on a brick wall this weekend, he jerked his head forward, smacked it into said wall, and then fell backwards on his ass in surprise. When I picture this story, he’s screaming and vomiting while he falls backwards, flailing his arms a little. I don’t think that’s how it happened, but I like to imagine it that way.
All of which is to say, I guess, that there’s always somebody out there drunker than you.
* — Seen here with The Cheat, circa 1911.
Topics: Tales of Drink | 14 Comments »
April 19th, 2004 at 8:54 pm
One of the most important things I learned in college was “Don’t be the drunkest one at the party”. Except if it’s your party, in which case it’s ok to discuss nipples with Danger Lady.
April 20th, 2004 at 7:17 am
Hmm, this sounds like one of my parties… did the nipple discussion involve, first, an indignant defense of one’s tendencies to stare at women’s nipples, followed by a mild digression into listing the nipples of those present one had looked at? And they weren’t all women?
Yeah, luckily I wasn’t there at that point…
April 20th, 2004 at 7:48 am
As with all really good parties, I had no idea this discussion was going on. In fact, I have no idea where I was when this discussion was going on. I may have been crawling through the air ducts at that point.
April 20th, 2004 at 8:50 am
I’m pretty sure it was a comparison between tiny raisin nipples and biggo nipples that look like thumbs.
April 20th, 2004 at 11:29 am
Jimmy Jam likes to refer to biggo nipples as pancake nipples?!? If I didn’t bring that to the discussion table on Saturday night, then shame on me. Oh, and by the way… no, those aren’t the kind that I have.
Erin’s Birthday + Skippies + Nipple Discussions + Porch Time + Sing-A-Long with BrianByrne = Rockin’ Good Time!
April 20th, 2004 at 1:43 pm
I got to hear an unintelligible bit of the rock sing-a-long. Even though it was a garbled mess, I’m jealous I was not in attendance.
Nipple discussions are very important (for cultural study, duh), but I’ve found from personal experience that you have to be careful in your choice of words when discussing this topic around nipples that you have not seen.
April 20th, 2004 at 2:00 pm
Boy, that’s the truth. Any time’s a lousy time to discover somebody you know has three-inch pencil eraser nipples. Much less during a social occasion.
April 20th, 2004 at 3:36 pm
Like Adebisi. Don’t mention his nipples.
April 20th, 2004 at 5:46 pm
I always judge how good my party is by how many people there I don’t know. Once we had a New Year’s party in college when the strangers in my apartment spilled out onto the porch. It was awesome.
April 20th, 2004 at 5:47 pm
However, with Slammers parties, it’s best the opposite way. I hope something was poured out in remembrance of me, and I hope it was Jon’s cholesterol.
April 20th, 2004 at 9:00 pm
“Any time’s a lousy time to discover somebody you know has three-inch pencil eraser nipples.”
i think this should be stitched on a pillow and put out on your couch when guests come over.
April 21st, 2004 at 8:39 am
I agree. Profane and potentially offending crosstitch is a woefully underused medium.
April 21st, 2004 at 12:25 pm
I can cross stitch the hell out of some shit. Just point me in the right direction. And yes Sarah, some of Jon’s cholesterol was poured out just for you.
April 21st, 2004 at 12:52 pm
Is that what that yellowy puddle on the front walk is? Ewwww. I think that’s what all those slugs were after last night.