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“Secret Eating.”
By briantologist | April 27, 2004
Yesterday as I was getting dressed for work, I found a frito in my shirt pocket.
About that gym membership …
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 13 Comments »
« Flexxxology | Home | “Suspicious Minds.” »
By briantologist | April 27, 2004
Yesterday as I was getting dressed for work, I found a frito in my shirt pocket.
About that gym membership …
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 13 Comments »
April 27th, 2004 at 11:13 am
I get the feeling you’re gonna “find” a lot of food in your shirt pocket(s).
April 27th, 2004 at 12:46 pm
That’s just gross.
April 27th, 2004 at 1:49 pm
I was just about to leave a comment suggesting that you just have a lot of sex for your excercise routine. Like 3-4 hours per night. But then I checked my email and saw this subject line on some spam :
Rolls and rolls of love here..just grab a roll and hit it
Please tell me you didn’t eat the frito.
I’ve been trying to get healthier lately too and here’s a few suggestions :
1) Rather than go for an Atkins thing, try consuming your normal amount of carbs and fats earlier in the day. For dinner have some healthier meals like taco salads, turkey-burgers with lettuce instead of buns, etc.
2) Always eat breakfast.
3) Try to sign up for one of those fitness cycle type programs (if your gym offers it) where you spend thirty minutes hopping from equipment to equipment.
4) Seriously, lift weights. Not freeweights like all those dildos who brag about how much they can “bench”, but those machines where you put a pin in the weight. If you concentrate on various muscle groups, you’ll really feel it and within a week or two feel like a total badass.
5) Bring some upbeat music to the gym. If you bring Johnny Cash, you’ll wanna leave after a few minutes. If you bring Appetite for Destruction, you’ll stay until the last few bars of “Rocket Queen”
6) On nights where you don’t go to the gym, try to do a little excercise at home. A couple hundred situps during the commercial breaks for the OC should be enough to tide you over until you can make it to the gym.
7) Switch from beer to wine.
8) Keep some healthy snacks in the fridge. If you need a midnight snack, baby carrot sticks dipped in non-fat ranch dressing should do the trick.
April 27th, 2004 at 3:44 pm
wow, that was pretty involoved greg..
i vouch for situps and pushups..stretch over and touch your toes
dig large holes several feet deep in your yard, fill them back up with the dirt, rinse and repeat as frequent as needed.
oatmeal. oatmeal
oatmeal
oat
meal
eat
oatmeal
or, alternatively, pick up your smoking rate to a carton every few days, it tends to curb the appetite if you inhale regularly.
just here to help..
April 27th, 2004 at 3:53 pm
involoved = involved
April 27th, 2004 at 4:21 pm
I do like the oatmeal, though it tends to suddenly disappear from my gut, leaving me with the sudden, stabbing hunger, which I’m not so fond of. I might include a side of raw vegetables, which I’m always in the mood for at breakfast.
I’ve got my gym routine down pretty well. I’m okay with the treadmill. Plus when it’s nice, I walk to the gym, which is like a free 15-minute bumper on the way, and a cool-down on the way back. I don’t mind the free weights so much, now that I’ve conquered my fear of having one of them fall on me and kill me. The thing I like about going to the YWCA is that it’s perfectly acceptable to lift miniscule weights. (“Say, who’s that guy bench-pressing 60 pounds? I think he needs help.”)
April 27th, 2004 at 4:46 pm
Brian, I just laughed out loud, really really loudly, for a few minutes at least. Thanks.
April 27th, 2004 at 7:01 pm
so did you eat it?
April 28th, 2004 at 12:43 am
nah. I still had relatively fresh memories of the night of Darleece’s birthday party, or more specifically the morning after, when I woke up on the couch at 5 a.m. with the TV on and my hand in the bag of Fritos. That kind of thing can turn you off Fritos for a while.
Plus it’d be all stale by now.
April 28th, 2004 at 11:35 am
Man, Fritos just make me think of the time I was SO STONED and I dropped a whole bag of Fritos on the floor of the dorm room and then I scooped them all up and ate them anyway. Some people would consider that an epiphany.
April 28th, 2004 at 2:04 pm
Those people are called “Quitters.” They never win.
April 28th, 2004 at 4:09 pm
Go take a yoga class. Works pretty well for me, plus you get to look at hottie housewives and wanna be actresses, although, you may have less actresses in tulsa than LA.
There’s a yoga studio on 41st between sheridan and harvard three doors down from my folks flower shop. So you could buy some flowers after your yoga and then you’d feel really fucking tough.
April 30th, 2004 at 12:10 pm
you should have eaten the frito. you know, cuz dirt and crap like that is good for your immune system. it would have practically guaranteed your becoming a tough mother…