Archive for May, 2004
Next Entries »“Smart Shopping.”
Monday, May 10th, 2004Things it’s okay to buy the cheap version of: • Ramen* • Household cleansers • Ibuprofen Things for which you’re better off sticking to a name brand, probably: • Toilet paper • Garbage bags • Peanut butter** • Syringes • Cigarettes • Hookers*** • Potato chips**** * — I assure you, as bizarre as it [...]
Domo oregato
Sunday, May 9th, 2004Mom, you taught me the value of shutting up and listening. You taught me to balance a checkbook. You taught me to grind my own coffee beans, like, always. And you instilled in me a deep-seated and abiding need to do crossword puzzles. And there was that whole birthing process, which couldn’t have been pleasant. [...]
Focus on the family
Friday, May 7th, 2004I was walking home from the Y last night, and the route I take cuts through a neighborhood of pleasant but overpriced bungalows. In front of one of them was the traditional mid-’80s Volvo arrayed with the traditional mid-’80s Volvo stickers, one of which, as you probably know, reads “Hate is NEVER a family value.” [...]
Takin’ it sideways a notch
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004I’ve got something I need to say. It’s something I don’t say as often as I think it, because if I did I’d have to quit my job so I could make a full-time gig out of saying it. Since I think it so constantly, and feel it so strongly, I treat it like a [...]
“Celebrity skin.”
Monday, May 3rd, 2004During our recent pledge drive, one listener called in and said she’d pledge as soon as we sent her an autographed photo of me. We didn’t end up sending this one, and honestly I don’t have any fucking idea why not. So many shouldas.
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