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Drafted.
By briantologist | August 30, 2004
In the name of not keeping you waiting any longer, let me relieve you thus: My fantasy football draft went fine yesterday. I’ll allow a moment for you to breathe a sigh of relief.
In addition to my having what promises to be an awesome keeper this year (Marvin Harrison, arguably the best Wide Receiver in the NFL, once you deduct points from Randy Moss for “bumping” parking attendants with his car, and from Terrell “I’m gonna act like a little bitch if you don’t throw to me every fucking chance you get, Mr. Quarterback, so be warned” Owens, for obvious reasons … man, this sentence has spiraled out of control … in addition to all that, I’ve got a potentially great quarterback in Aaron Brooks, one of two truly awesome tight ends (gay jokes commence here) in Todd Heap, and a potentially great runningback in the Houston Texans’ Domanick Davis.
The only thing that concerns me about that sentence, other than its length, is the number of times the word “potentially” appears in it.
Still, I think things are gonna go okay. In the mean time, I’m making a flyer for our September 11 party, the theme of which is “The Terrorists Have Won.” It’ll be a costume party, with attendees dressing up as illustrations of what happens when said terrorists win. I am now fielding ideas for what happens when they win, as it’s time to make the flyer.
Please help me do this by telling me what happens when the terrorists win — for example, if we don’t have our civil rights curtailed by the Patriot Act, TTW. Or if the gay folk get to marry. (Or do anything other than decorate our homes and entertain us, for that matter! Who do they think they are? People?)
Topics: Exciting, Possibly | 8 Comments »
August 30th, 2004 at 4:19 pm
How can you do that! You list 4 players from your roster without sharing the whole thing along with what round you drafted them in!? I need to know!
Davis is going to be very nice this year. Carr and Johnson will just give him more room to run. And Heap will carry you for a couple weeks, then leave you crying on a few others, but what TIGHT END doesn’t?
August 30th, 2004 at 4:24 pm
As one who was at said draft, I would agree that it was a good time. And there were plenty of tight ends to go around I must say.
As for what to dress up as for this party, I can’t really decide.
I was thinking about something along the lines of Toby Keith… because lets be honest, his kind of music and belief system does mean the terrorists have won.
August 30th, 2004 at 4:42 pm
Duuuuuuude … Clayton, you’re right on so many levels, it’s scary. I think Mr. Keith is gonna be prominently featured on the flyer.
August 31st, 2004 at 9:14 am
Jeb in 2008. ’nuff said.
August 31st, 2004 at 3:30 pm
I just pre-ranked my autodraft picks for the Angry Dragons at lunch. I’ve set my team up for failure, though, putting players like Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, and Kellen “I’m a Soldier” Winslow Jr. on my REJECT list, and tilting my preferences to Steeler/Patriot players. We’ll see how it pans out by the end of the week (when the autodraft is supposed to happen).
And forget Jeb in ’08, kids. I know, he’s a Bush, but he’s smarter than his dumbass brother. No, we’d better get lubed up for Bill Frist, Republican polls say. Personally, I was hoping to get railed by George Pataki, but I guess he’s too moderate to give us a good enough ass-fuckin’.
August 31st, 2004 at 7:03 pm
Well, certainly if we’re no longer entitled to save big on major furniture purchases around labor day then the terrorists have won. Or anything else that would require a modification of the American lifestyle. Keep America Rolling!!!
August 31st, 2004 at 7:59 pm
If it’s any consolation, Mr. Scott, I fucking hate Terrell Owens’ bitch ass so much … well, I’d just have a hard time drafting him. Let’s just leave it at that.
August 31st, 2004 at 11:46 pm
Trust me. Nothing’s worse than drafting someone you HATE as a centerpiece to your fantasy team. … As someone who had Ricky Williams the past three years, I can attest.