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“Over There.”
By briantologist | August 27, 2004
I’ve got it bad. Not just for Inge, but for, as all you dorks out there can understand, a video game. Kind of an old one: “Medal of Honor: Allied Assault” is a totally badass first-person shooter in which you storm the beaches at Normandy, then shoot a bunch of Nazis.
I suppose it’s paradoxical, as I think war is an awful, awful thing, but I seem to be more than happy to engage in fake on-screen war nearly every chance I get. Like, to the point where I spend my lunch breaks at home playing this game, a half-eaten peanut butter sandwich on my lap, the cats confused as to why I’m interrupting their midday 8-hour napping session.
At any rate, there are times when I can’t stop thinking about it; in fact I would’ve wrote this post this morning, but I was searching for screenshots to accompany this post, and when I found some and looked at them I had to stop writing and go play this game. I can’t explain it. It’s incredibly lame, but it’s how addictive video games work: They get in your head, and the only way to get them out is through hours of eyeball-twitching gameplay. It’s kind of like kicking heroin, only instead of not doing any heroin, you do all the heroin you can, in hopes of making yourself sick of heroin. Also instead of a heroin addict, you’re a total fucking dork.
I am happy to report, however, that as of nearly beating this game on both Easy and Normal difficulty settings, I have now officially served more time in the military than that fucking fuck in the White House.
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(Rim shot.)
Topics: Songs of Praise | 5 Comments »

August 27th, 2004 at 4:46 pm
That picture is fucking awesome.
August 27th, 2004 at 4:48 pm
And uhh, I dunno what you’re talking about with games that never happens to me ever. And uh hasnt happened with Warcraft3 or World of Warcraft or Zelda, or Metroid. Never. I’m not a dork.
August 28th, 2004 at 9:06 am
One word: Everquest.
Have you seen this site? http://www.evilninja.net/buybush.htm
I thought it was nothing short of genius.
August 30th, 2004 at 10:39 am
My addiction to MOHAA was controlled by substituting it metadone-like with Call of Duty.
August 30th, 2004 at 11:33 am
A couple years ago I went to E3 and sit in on a panel about the making of this game (or maybe it was one of the other million FPS games set during WW2). During the question an answer session, was this brilliant exchange between a starry-eyed fan and one of the game’s lead developers :FAN : Will there be an option to play as Nazis during the game?DEVELOPER : Uhhhh….no…the Nazis were bad guys.It’s sad to think that someone had to travel all the way to a geek convention to find that out.