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Defeat looms
By briantologist | September 24, 2004
I’m concerned about The Thick Hearty Soup, my fantasy football team. They’re 1-1 in their division, but this week they’re playing The Cheat’s undefeated All-Talk All-Stars. Not to puff up the opponent too much, but they’re undefeated for a reason. (Apparently having the first-round draft pick can have a positive effect on your team. Shocked, I am. Shocked.)
On the one hand, I really don’t want to lose. On the other hand, losing to The Cheat would pretty much be like the last scene in “Road to Perdition,” where Paul Newman’s getting into his car on a rainy night, and out of the dark a Tommy gun’s muzzle flashes, and every one of his henchmen is cut down in a hail of hot lead, and Tom Hanks walks out of the shadows and looks sadly at Newman, who looks sadly back at him and says, “I’m glad it was you,” and then Hanks blows him away, fighting tears all the while.
All of which is a dramatic way of saying that, if somebody takes a hit out on me, I hope it’s Matt Clayton who emerges from the darkness, Tommy gun in hand. ‘Cause I couldn’t feel bad about that.
Topics: Laments | 2 Comments »
September 24th, 2004 at 4:09 pm
The Cheat agrees with Mr. Soup. I guess if I have to go down this weekend, which could happen, I certainly wouldn’t mind it. It could happen because 845 year-old Curtis Martin has the week off and thus taking about 15-20 points away from me.
How about a tie? That would work well for both of us I think.
Cheers
September 24th, 2004 at 11:28 pm
Christ Almighty. You, author of some of the best trash talk in The Tournament of Football of the Imagination history, and Clayton, whose trademark for irrational fits of rage eclipses even me, and the love and respect is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
I’m all geared up for kickboxing, you give me synchronized swimming.
I’ll be at the Texans game this weekend, needing Domanick’s services in a different, inferior, league, so best of luck to you.