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Pray for Mojo
By briantologist | September 30, 2004
Dear god help me, I’m worried about these debates.
More specifically, I’m in fucking knots about this election. At this point, the very real spectre of four more years of this fucking chimpanzee and his band of corporate zealots is looming large, and you know that line about things not really changing even if the guy you don’t want to be president wins? I’m starting to think that might not be true anymore. I mean, if your eyes are even partially open, you know what I’m talking about.
I know Kerry’s smarter, better-qualified, and leaps, bounds, and entire worlds better than Johnny Chimpo. You probably know that too. At least two of our four cats know that. Sal tended bar near where Dumbya “trained” in the Texas Air National Guard, and let me tell you, he’s got some unsavory story. A blind retarded kid knows who’ll be the better president.
Unfortunately, it’s starting to seem like a significant part of the general electorate might not. And the way Kerry’s been on the war (how hard is it to say “No” when somebody asks you if you think it was right to invade Iraq??? HOW HARD?????) isn’t the way the public needs him to be in order to win their trust.
I have to believe, you see, that Kerry’s gonna pull this one out. It’s not a choice for me, because the idea of that son of a whore running my fucking country into the ground for another four years is seriously not one I can deal with in the slightest. I’m talking serious infraction of my mental health here, like taking time off work to drink infraction. It’s not just about the country anymore. It’s about my goddamn sanity.
Topics: Laments | 12 Comments »
September 30th, 2004 at 2:28 pm
“It’s not just about the country anymore. It’s about my goddamn sanity.”
It’s gotten to where I don’t want to leave my house anymore. Seriously. Bush is making me into a hermit.
September 30th, 2004 at 3:18 pm
You’ve really got to relax man. You can’t let it wind you up so much. Even if Kerry wins, the war will still go on. And Kerry won’t be nearly as entertaining.
September 30th, 2004 at 3:22 pm
Fuck entertaining. I think America could do with a little good, old-fashioned, boring-ass normalcy in the White House.
Unfortunately, I believe in a school of thought that’s never been proven wrong: The U.S. will choose whichever candidate’s Saturday Night Live sketches are better. Will Ferrel sensed this and left, thank God, but Chris Parnell still occasionally does the work of the devil.
I just want a smart guy, who knows what he’s doing and hides all the evil shit he’s fucking America with a little bit better.
September 30th, 2004 at 5:37 pm
My brain can no longer tolerate the sound of Bush’s voice. It doesn’t matter if it’s only for the duration of a 30-second campaign commercial. Needless to say, I’ll have to read about the debates in the papers/on the internet tomorrow.
September 30th, 2004 at 5:46 pm
I’m relieved to hear that someone else is so involuntarily hung up on this… the next four years of my life will be categorically worse if he gets reelected.
I can’t even listen to him talk anymore, because I’m convinced that, with all the pauses and gaps in his flow of speech, eventually he’ll just stop trying to say whatever his point is and throw up his hands and give up, then break down crying.
September 30th, 2004 at 7:07 pm
I hear Toronto is lovely this time of year.
October 1st, 2004 at 1:47 am
Toronto is lovely any time of year. It’s my favorite city in the world. It’s just like Duluth, except huge.
October 1st, 2004 at 10:45 am
well. it appears that your hopes were somewhat partially realized. kerry kicked some auditory ass. bush stammered, smirked, he even slobbered more than john this time around. the torch has not yet been dropped. the haggered looking kerry, complete with mary k makeover, has stood up straight again. long live discretionary democracy!!!!
October 1st, 2004 at 11:58 am
Word. Toronto owns.
October 1st, 2004 at 12:33 pm
“that son of a whore running my fucking country into the ground for another four years”
C’mon, Bri. George W. Bush is ruining our fucking country.
October 1st, 2004 at 12:58 pm
True. I do need to spread the misery around. Although after last night, I’m extremely short on misery. That fucking ruled. It rocked all kinds of ass.
January 3rd, 2005 at 12:12 pm
Bri you aren’t alone in hating monkey man Bush. Someone else will probably run the country before this fool is finished. From the looks of things, I don’t think it will be long .