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Our Bob, who aren’t yet in heaven …
By briantologist | October 28, 2004
I’m feeling ill today. I’m fervently praying it’s not the flu, or anything serious, but as god and I aren’t on the best terms these days, even that’s becoming problematic. Who do you pray to when you’re mostly unconvinced about the whole god thing?
Clearly, the answer is Robert Evans. I mean, as far as provable accomplishments go, one claims he/she/it created the fucking planet in a week; the other clearly and demonstrably produced “Chinatown.” Even when you factor in “Jade,” “Sliver,” and “The Phantom” — and a trifecta of shit like this there never was before — I’m still leaning on Evans’s record. Plus he had that cartoon series with the kitty that did bong hits.
Topics: Reflections From the Bottom Rung | 8 Comments »
October 28th, 2004 at 10:42 am
Whatever happened to the kitty bong cartoon? We watched the first few episodes fervently hoping that the crap that it was would turn into something even slightly better. I’m guessing that didn’t happen.
October 28th, 2004 at 11:30 am
“Was it a crap cartoon? Sure. Could it have been better? You bet! Did I care? Not a bit. Do I regret it? A little. Has the mescaline kicked in? You better believe it! Could I use a sandwich right now? Only if it’s pastrami.”
October 28th, 2004 at 1:14 pm
Prayer is overrated. I have yet to see any evidence that people who pray all the time are luckier than the rest of us.
To put it another way, if god really gave a shit, he wouldn’t have taken Phil Hartman and left us with that walking leather couch of a man, Robert Evans.
October 28th, 2004 at 1:21 pm
I totally saw Sliver in the theater. My friend and I were the only ones there. I love it when that happens! The movie was ridiculous, but I did end up buying the soundtrack for that Engima song… It had some really fucked up songs on it. I should try to uncover it…
October 28th, 2004 at 1:26 pm
I’ve heard of studies suggesting that people who pray regularly are more relaxed or generally happier or some shit like that. But near as I can tell, that’s mainly due to the fact that they’re able to disavow responsibility for what happens in their lives — i.e., “It’s in God’s hands now.” For arriving at the same result without resorting to fantasizing, I find heavy drinking is an excellent substitute for prayer.
Dude. Remember when … fuck, I was trying to remember anything about “Sliver” other than waiting for Sharon Stone to take her clothes off, and damned if I can’t. There was a camera. And Tom Berenger. And a Baldwin. That’s all I got.
October 28th, 2004 at 3:51 pm
Didn’t it have something to do with a mask? No, wait, that’s Jade. Sliver was the one with the security cameras and Sharon Stone masturbating in the tub, right?
October 28th, 2004 at 5:05 pm
That’s the one. Sharon Stone’s tub of destiny, and an unwitting Baldwin’s quest for answers. Cinemalicious.
October 29th, 2004 at 8:21 am
It was Billy Baldwin, and all I remember from that film was his nekkid ass as he buggered Sharon Stone against that pillar. Or something.