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Rock and/or Roll.
By briantologist | October 26, 2004
Sweet. Fembot magnate Joe Simpson now insists acid reflux was to blame for AshlEE Simpson’s case of ventriloquism on “Saturday Night Live” last week. Never have I missed so much by watching the World Series, but fortunately the whole wonderful, (deservedly) humiliating experience is available online, for posterity’s sake. Bless you, Internets.
I’m not sure what my favorite part is: On the one hand, there’s that priceless moment when she realizes the song’s proceeding without her, thinks over her options, and decides her best option is to do a sort of improvised Leprechaun dance for roughly 20 seconds, then wander offstage, leaving her band to shrug at each other and continue playing (“Dude, you paid us for two hours. Union regs.”). I haven’t seen anything that great since Milli Vanilli’s CD skipped, and they tried to play it off for a few seconds like it was part of the act, and then they looked at each other and silently agreed to flee the room.
That part was great, but the bit where this lousy spoiled (I’m not gonna use the c-dash-dash-dash word. I’m not gonna use the … damn) FUCKING BLAMES HER BAND FOR PLAYING THE WRONG SONG, when in reality what they did was PRESS PLAY ON THE WRONG SONG, a difference some might consider worth noting, … well, friends, it just doesn’t get much classier than that.
Topics: Exciting, Possibly | 9 Comments »
October 26th, 2004 at 10:51 am
oh my god, you have made my morning!! i wondered what all the hoopla was about…what a bitch.
but as an ADDED bonus… i got to see that WHORE ann coulter during her pie fight!!! again, bless you internets.
October 26th, 2004 at 11:06 am
that was fucking hilarious. Love it.
October 26th, 2004 at 11:25 am
Thank you, Mr. Byrne, for keeping me informed. I NEEDED to know this!
October 26th, 2004 at 11:57 am
Some people have seen the inconsistencies in Ashlee’s story as something that’s “fucking hilarious”, but there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this.
Y’see, backstage before the performance, her acid-reflux disease accidentally pressed play on the wrong vocal track. To make things worse, her band completely ignored the song that her acid-reflux disease had selected. In this sort of situation, Ashlee did the brave thing by following her doctor’s orders, which were to hop around and search for her lucky charms. I think it’s the height of insensitivity for you to laugh at a poor little girl who has acid-reflux disease.
October 26th, 2004 at 4:47 pm
I read this on Yahoo:
Unfortunately, according to Daddy Simpson, due to an overexcited drummer’s mistake, Simpson’s performance came off worse than anyone could have predicted.
“When [the drummer] finished with ‘Pieces,’ he did not reset his Pro-Tools rig because he was so excited to be on Saturday Night Live,” Joe Simpson explained.
So these putzes are STILL blaming the band for “playing” the wrong song. Maybe the drummer had acid reflux disease too?
October 26th, 2004 at 8:43 pm
I’ll say it for you, Brianbyrne. CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.
CuntBAG.
October 26th, 2004 at 9:58 pm
Thanks man. I really needed to say it.
October 27th, 2004 at 8:56 am
I hope her Band tells her to fuck off!
October 27th, 2004 at 11:56 am
I do too. Whatever they’re getting paid, it isn’t enough.