« Back to the future | Home | Waitin’ for the man »
Thankful.
By briantologist | November 25, 2004
God damn, am I a lucky sonofabitch. Observe:
• The Wife: Awesome, foxy, more fun than a barrel of mandrill baboons.
• The Friends: Better than anybody has a right to have. Halliwell alone would be an achievement, but add the Szaszkos and Natrone & Jen and the Crutchmers and the KeKinders and the Matt Claytons and Kelly and Aaron and the LA contingent and everybody I haven’t even got around to mentioning and Kristin and Sarahbrown? Getdafuckouttahere.
• The Family: Again, better than anybody has a right to.
• The Kitties: Bastards. How I love them.
• The House: Beautiful. Affordable. Like the airport hooker of your dreams.
• The Job(s): Reasonably well-paying. Rewarding as hell.
• The Relative Financial Stability: It continues. Some day, decades from now, we may even be out of debt.
• The Relative Good Health: I can’t do anything but lie flat or stand up without alarming pain right now, but y’know what? My blood pressure’s good. I can lose the weight I need to lose without getting my stomach stapled or being airlifted out of the house. In the right light I’m decent-looking.
And to top it all off, as I lie flat on the couch with my sweet new iBook (and its INSANE battery life — five hours? are you fucking SERIOUS?), there’s a “Dinner For Five” marathon on IFC, and the episode on now has Dom DeLuise, Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning, and Charles Nelson Reilly (!!!). Fer real. I meant to watch as long as it took to see Bob Odenkirk do his Bob Evans impression, but Christ, this may be the best episode of this I’ve ever seen. Dom DeLuise is currently slaying Burt Reynolds by doing the thing where you squat behind Charles Nelson Reilly and stick your arms through his armpits and act like your arms are his, and gesticulate while he talks. DeLuise and Reilly are really, really good at this, shocking no one.
FUCKING FASCINATING THINGS I’VE LEARNED SO FAR FROM THIS EPISODE OF “DINNER FOR FIVE”:
• Charles Durning and Jack Warden fought each other in Madison Square Garden. Jack Warden fought under the name “Red Costello” and was the middleweight champion of the Navy.
• Charles Durning fucking stormed the beaches at Normandy. Apparently he was about 15 yards away from Burt Reynolds’s dad, also storming said beaches.
• CHARLES NELSON REILLY WAS IN THE FUCKING TENT DURING THE HARTFORD CIRCUS FIRE OF 1944, and clearly he lived to tell about it.
And the episode on now guest stars Danny Aiello (his first role was as the guy with the garrotte who says “Michael Corleone says hello” in “Godfather II”), Colin Quinn (who I like when I’m not watching “Tough Crowd”), John Waters (!) and DELROY MOTHERFUCKIN’ LINDO, for whom my love has no bounds.
Happy Thanksgiving, bitches.
Topics: Songs of Praise | 7 Comments »
November 25th, 2004 at 11:18 pm
In honor of a man with no back and an injured cat putting them both aside to make such a statement, I hereby declare that I’m not going to bitch about anything for the rest of the day.
November 26th, 2004 at 10:15 am
I dunno, dude. I saw the Colts game. If you wanna bitch, I hereby give you permission to.
I think I might have to get a back transplant. I hope it’s somebody roughly my height, so I don’t have to go around with a two-foot back on a three-foot body. That could be sort of awkward.
November 26th, 2004 at 11:24 am
Technically, I had only to adhere to such a bold promise from time of posting (11:18 p.m.) until midnight. So it was a resounding success.
As for the Colts game, the only actual way I’m going to feel better, I fear, is by changing NateOn’s team name to “Blue Fluffy Bunnies.”
November 26th, 2004 at 12:24 pm
The thing I love about Delroy Lindo is that he’s one of the only people on Earth to have a name that sounds like it’s from the Star Wars universe.
November 27th, 2004 at 2:12 pm
I am thankful for you!
Also, the best Halloween costume I saw was a guy who went as a shrine to Danny Aiello!
November 29th, 2004 at 6:26 pm
I’m thankful for fabulous Tulsanites!
December 15th, 2004 at 12:39 pm
Read this book: ‘The Circus Fire: A True Story’ by Stewart O’Nan