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The news, in brief
By briantologist | December 18, 2004
• I was sitting here at the coffee shop, and this guy pulled up outside and got out of his car with this total douchebag and a nondescript third man, and there were about five seconds when I about halfway could’ve sworn the guy was Billy Bob Thorton. Sadly, it turned out to just be a man accompanied by a total douchebag and a third guy. Ultimately, it’s probably for the best that things turned out the way they did.
• Um, oh my God.
• The film adaptation of “A Series of Unfortunate Events”? Not actually all that bad. Jim Carrey is of course its fucking downfall, surprising no one. God I hate that fucker. Though I must break down and admit that when he plays the clearly fake scientist, he’s fucking hysterical. Fortunately enough, I figured out that by employing the same techniques I use to block out the constant pain from my sciatic nerve, I was able to numb myself to Jim Carrey’s presence in the film, thus freeing me to enjoy the other bits. Visually, it’s both beautiful and hilarious. Also, oh dear sweet heavenly god, but Emily Browning is so fucking hot. Not since Natalie Portman in “The Professional” have I felt this way about an onscreen minor.
(She’s the one who’s not an infant.)
• New painkillers! These are called Darvocet. I’m a little whacked out on them at the moment. Though I’m happy to say the pain’s getting killed, mostly. Though I think my eyeballs are working their way free of their sockets. Still: Good times. Got an appointment with a physical therapist next week. Fingers crossed. Also an MRI. Remind me to take a couple of these bad boys before crawling into that big tube for god knows how long. Woot.
• This entry is getting too long. Fer real, you guys have got to stop me here.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 11 Comments »
December 18th, 2004 at 5:36 pm
mmmm darvocet. Emily Browning is hot. She looks like she was in The Dark Crystal.
December 18th, 2004 at 6:48 pm
Darvocet kicks the shit out of the Skelaxin I was taking.
December 18th, 2004 at 10:26 pm
I was totally on Skelaxin too for a while! It did okay as a muscle relaxant; I liked that it didn’t make me loopy as fuck, like the Soma they switched me to does — upon further reflection, it seems that’s what’s sending me tripping, more so than the Darvocet. Either way, good times.
December 19th, 2004 at 3:25 pm
Skelaxin? Does it make your skeleton relax? Because sign me up.
December 20th, 2004 at 10:51 am
Darvocet rocks. I was put on it as a teenager for migraines. After I growed up and finished college, I went to a real doctor who put me on Imitrex. Sure it worked, but as I explained to the doctor, it doesn’t make you *feel as good* as Darvocet. Darvocet makes things pretty…..
December 20th, 2004 at 7:52 pm
Before you crawl into the MRI, perhaps you can swallow a few words from a magnetic poetry set. I’m sure the doctor would get a big kick out of it, assuming the magnets in MRI machines aren’t strong enough to rip that stuff out through your body.
December 21st, 2004 at 8:47 am
Yeah, see, that immediately brings to mind Magneto’s prison break in “X-Men 2,” and that’s just not a risk I’m willing to take.
December 21st, 2004 at 8:54 am
It might be worth it if it meant being that close to Rebecca Romijn, though, am I right? No? Sigh…
December 21st, 2004 at 8:58 am
I was seriously weighing that possibility. The part where you get stuff ripped out of your body is so brutal, though … but christ, she’s so hot … and she seems like she could hang in real life … AAAGH!!! decisions.
December 21st, 2004 at 11:02 am
I know I’m late with this, but I’ve been sick…
Anyway, the second I saw the Lemony Snicket’s commercial I knew that older men would lust after this young pretty thing just like young Natalie Portman and that girl from the Harry Potter movies.
Oh yeah, I totally called it.
December 23rd, 2004 at 7:54 am
Go watch the remake of Rollerball again with the sound off… that should help the decision… also, let me take this opportunity to express my great relief that I am not alone in my visceral hatred of Mr Carrey… I watched the abysmal Bruce Almighty not long ago, and were it not for the lovely Ms Aniston, I would’ve so shot up my friend’s TV. Good GOD is he horrible.