« Another year … | Home | If you follow only one link this year … »
My Dinner With LouGo
By briantologist | January 18, 2005
When you’ve sat fifteen feet from Colonel Charles “Chappy” Sinclair, and he’s pointed directly at you in the middle of reciting a freeform poem he wrote in the sixties or seventies and said “Can [that struggling ghetto child] find a home with YOU?”, how can the entire rest of your life be anything but a gradual downward slide? Yeah, sure, there’s impending fatherhood, my eventual first novel or screenplay, my first ride in a rocket car, whatever, but after last night’s Dr. Martin Luther the King Jr. Day engagement with the surprisingly old Lou Gossett Jr., it’s all pretty much one big footnote.
In that our esteemed university’s brilliant student association had Mr. Gossett Jr. speaking in the 8,300-seat basketball arena, the event seemed sparsely attended, though this would’ve been the case with any fewer than 4,000 spectators. At any rate, there were two seats at front row center, so Dookie and I plunked ourselves down and prepared to be wowed.
Which I guess we were, though in all honesty, Lou’s speech was heavy on the emotion, less heavy on the coherence. I mean, he had kind of a lot to say, which I suppose is good when you’re getting paid for the hour, but it stayed pretty general, and, as Dookie put it, “He said a lot of sentences, but no paragraphs.”
That said, when Lou told us to stand up and say the Pledge of Allegiance, we did it, no questions asked. Because seriously, when Chappy Sinclair tells you to pledge, you just fuckin’ pledge. Even if you stay silent during the “under god” part.
I made a big point of threatening Dookie to keep his goddamn mouth shut during the question and answer period, but the truth of the matter is that I had a damn hard time not asking, per Dr. Voltron’s suggestion, if he keeps up with the guy who played Doug Masters.
On a side note, our school’s new president introduced Lou as “an Oscar-winning actress,” then didn’t correct himself, which the Dookster and I spent a few moments trying to figure out; I thought maybe he didn’t notice, whereas Dookie thought maybe he noticed but didn’t correct himself thinking nobody else would.
That was fine next to the indignity of sitting on stage next to this total douchebag future sales rep of America who did L.G.’s second introduction. Seriously, the picture didn’t turn out too well, but it’s clear enough for you to get an idea of what a bona fide ass weasel this guy is. His voice totally amplifies the effect. Dookie is pretty sure he’s drunkenly berated the guy at a bar some night, but at this point it’s moot.
In conclusion, Dookums and I learned a valuable lesson last night. As we were walking out to my car, a line from Lou’s speech came up, one about how you’re really the only thing stopping you from achieving whatever you put your mind to. Dookie and I decided that all things considered, we’re both doing the world a serious favor by keeping ourselves from achieving our dreams. ‘Cause seriously, our dreams … you don’t even wanna know. That decided, we stopped at the liquor store on the way home, so to stock up on the most valuable tool there is to keep a safe distance between you and your dreams.
Topics: Exciting, Possibly | 5 Comments »
January 19th, 2005 at 5:21 am
Dude. You shared personal space with a fucken Drac. You know they reproduce asexually, right?
January 19th, 2005 at 8:32 am
ok.ok.ok…So many things. First of all, I freakin’ love Iron Eagle. In the IMDB list for that guy in Iron Eagle, he’s listed as uncredited in Iron Eagle II. What the fuck is that about? Since I didn’t love Iron Eagle II and my memory of it is fuzzy, is that the one where he’s only in it as a flashback sequence? Or was it like in Karate Kid III where they just brought in a girl to play the lead which was SO WRONG? Also, you should click on the pictures for that guy on IMDB. It looks like he’s married to a woman with the worst and largest breast implants ever. Plus the horrific tan and multitudinous plastic surgeries. He’s been in a surprisingly large number of films and tv appearances that I managed not to notice at all, because if I had noticed, I would have told the tv “That’s that guy from Iron Eagle!”
January 19th, 2005 at 10:58 am
Didn’t Lou get his face eaten by a moray eel in The Deep? Viva the 70s!
January 19th, 2005 at 1:56 pm
Yeah, it’s pretty bizarre to me that Doug Masters ever worked again after “Iron Eagle,” as it seems like he’d have gotten just enough stardom and cash out of that to immediately self-destruct and wind up getting kicked out of rehab for nonpayment. Though judging by the pictures, he looks like he’s definitely enough of a choad to have catapulted himself into a massive cocaine habit.
And in IE2, I’m pretty sure he only alive at the very beginning of the movie, either in a flashback, or one of Chappy’s horrific waking nightmares, or else he immediately got killed. Either way we win: Less Masters, MORE LOU!!!
January 20th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
Wait, who’s the president now? Of our alma mater, I mean.