byrneunit

I rarely know what you’re talking about.

The short version

I was gonna write an Oscar recap entry this morning, but I quickly realized I don’t have enough time or attention to do a decent job of it. Therefore, instead I’ll leave you with a tidbit from the ongoing Oscar-time IM exchanges I had with the esteemed Dr. 12.
TV: “Renee Zelweger has demonstrated incredible range [...]

Illusion: Used

Response to project: Reuse Your Illusion has been overwhelming. And by “Overwhelming,” I mean “Nearly eight.” To all those of you to whom I’ve pledged a copy, rest assured it’s a-comin’. Though since I’m a lazy beeyotch, the discs won’t actually go out in the mail until Monday. This, I remind you, is because I [...]

Use This Illusion, Pal

I seem to vividly recall, from the depths of my drug-addled fortnight on the couch, a conversation with my boon companion Max Power, who luckily enough is generally available for conversations during the day, as he’s got some job or another where he doesn’t actually, in the traditional sense of the word, “go to work.”
We [...]

Thoughts while sitting upright

I’ve been sitting upright in an actual chair for like TEN WHOLE MINUTES now! This is very exciting to me after a fortnight spent either lying down or standing. This means perhaps I can leave the house soon. Not a moment too soon, I might add. It’s turned into that scene from the beginning of [...]

The Couch: Day Four

First, the technical details: Neck beard progress and cheek beard progress. As you can see, both are flourishing.
I’m having to try very hard not to continually take my maximum allowable dose of hydrocodone every four hours, mainly because I’m enjoying it an awful lot. Seriously, it gives me these weird cravings for sweets, and it [...]

14 days, 13 nights

Day two of Operation: Not at the Hospital Anymore proceeds. A glimpse:

Our hero somehow manages to look more bald than he actually is. This is hard to do.

A ho dances during “New Jack City,” moments after defiantly turning on “I Wanna Sex You Up.” The whole exchange is relayed via our television.

Our handsome little turd [...]

Back.

Good god. One ungodly early morning, plus one eight-hour wait in the recovery room for a real room to open up, plus one long dark sedated night of the soul, plus one long irritating day waiting for my goddamn surgeon to show up and send me home, plus one biggo bottle of hydrocodone tablets, equals. [...]

The Day Before Tomorrow

So I’m now about 36 hours away from getting my back cut open and fixed, which will be okay by me, I’ve so far managed to convince myself. I’m still feeling pretty cavalier about the whole thing, which is either an indicator that I’m actually okay with the idea, or that I’m unconsciously psyching myself [...]

“Prime Time.”

A reminder, good ‘Murkins, that the State of the Retarded Fake President Elected by Very Easily Led People and Also Fundamentalist Lunatics Address is tonight.
Normally I’d suggest you take a drink every time he says the word “freedom,” but I’d rather not make myself liable when everyone who follows that advice drops dead of alcohol [...]