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Thoughts while sitting upright
By briantologist | February 21, 2005
I’ve been sitting upright in an actual chair for like TEN WHOLE MINUTES now! This is very exciting to me after a fortnight spent either lying down or standing. This means perhaps I can leave the house soon. Not a moment too soon, I might add. It’s turned into that scene from the beginning of “Apocalypse Now” where Martin Sheen beats up his hotel room in his whitey-tighties. Still in fucking Saigon indeed.
I had hoped I’d be posting a tad more regularly during my convalescence, but mainly it came down to a posture problem. It hurt to lie on my back for very long, and if you think it doesn’t sound too hard to type from the couch on a laptop that’s on a coffee table, perhaps you should’ve been over here blogging for me.
I did, however, partially complete a movie diary of my time on the couch, a record of some of the fascinating crap I watched on the 17 or so HBO channels and the equally multiplicitous Showtimes and Starzes. Off the top of my head, the main thing I’ve come away with is a serious chip on my shoulder toward the fucking Matrix trilogy, which one or all of the HBOs have been so kind as to air near-constantly these past several days.
Seriously, if ever three movies needed to be one movie, it were these three. I know I’m being less patient than perhaps I oughter, as I have, in fact, started to go a little stir crazy here. But seriously: The first movie is the only one with anything approaching decent pacing! Meanwhile, “Reloaded” and “Revolutions” just sort of zip right by the tired old convention of telling an actual story with a film, and jump right into boring us with their seemingly unlimited willingness to bore us with the boundless details of this universe’s mythology. Twenty-minute scenes of rapidly delivered, needlessly complex, unpardonably overwritten expository dialogue? “Thanks, I’ll take three or four!” Sure thing, “Matrix Reloaded.” You let me know how many “Revolutions” will want. Oh, and tell him his hopelessly muddled conclusion is just about ready.
At the very least, the second two films should’ve been one movie. It probably would’ve been pushing things a bit to cram it all into one film, but I’m not convinced it couldn’t have been done.
Anyway. This is what happens when you go for too long without leaving the house. The first week is pretty good, but by about a week and a half, it’s really time to go for a long drive. In case you’re planning a vacation during which you wouldn’t leave the house. (This is still not a bad idea, I maintain.)
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 7 Comments »
February 21st, 2005 at 12:14 pm
wanna go bowling tonight?
February 21st, 2005 at 12:55 pm
Ho ho. Ho ho ho. Set me up one of those granny ramps, lift the ball up on to it for me, and man! Would I ever go bowling.
February 21st, 2005 at 1:28 pm
Dude, did you ever get my Amazon package? They said it was delivered last week!
February 21st, 2005 at 5:07 pm
Oh yeah, shit! Sorry. I forgot to thank you for that. Painkillers, y’know. Seriously. They do things to a man’s memory. Seriously, thanks. Booyakashaa!
February 22nd, 2005 at 2:33 pm
It’s always good to hear from you.
Good luck with your new cyborg parts! I know they’re in there.
February 23rd, 2005 at 1:18 pm
Personally, I choose to ignore that the “other two” were ever made. As far as I’m concerned, there is (and will always be) only one Matrix.
Hope your recovery is still going well.
February 23rd, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Right on. I mean, to follow such a relatively strong movie with two such crappy ones just doesn’t make any damn sense at all.