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By briantologist | July 26, 2006
Today Henry and I walked to lunch at a sushi place by the house. Henry declined the fish; he’s currently more of a graham cracker man. For a good portion of the meal we were the only people in there, and it was entirely quiet — no piped-in music or anything, only the faintest chatter of Japanese television from a set over the doorway. It made for a weirdly tense dining experience.
So yes, things are fine, getting slightly better, I think. We found a daycare place for Henry that’s only a lot more than we were paying before we moved, rather than a whole shitload more, as seems to be the going rate here. And it’s fairly clean and close by, and I pretty much trust the people there, so what the Hell, we’ll give it a shot. He starts tomorrow with a half-day, and he’ll be full-time starting Monday. Does it make me a failure as a parent that I feel categorically incapable of staying home and taking care of my son full-time? Because I’m starting to think I’m okay with that. As long as I can squeeze one or two paternal successes in there, like teaching him to play Super Mario Brothers or shoot skeet or sing “A Boy Named Sue,” I figure he’ll at least think of me fondly from time to time, which from what I understand is not a bad record for a father to have.
Fuck. Now I’ve gotta figure out what I’m gonna do tomorrow morning while he’s at daycare. Are bars open at 8:00? Why aren’t they?
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 20 Comments »
July 26th, 2006 at 11:07 pm
Hell, no. Being home with a child is the fucking hardest thing in the world. And what’s weird is you can’t explain why it’s so hard, but it just is.
July 27th, 2006 at 5:38 am
Find an Irish pub – they’re open early, and you can watch soccer.
And of course you’re not a failure as a parent for not being able to stay home full-time. You’re a failure as a HUMAN BEING. Oooooooh snap!
July 27th, 2006 at 7:56 am
Hell I wouldn’t even stay at home with my best friend for all hours of the day. And that’s with adult entertainment (yeah yeah get dirty with it)!
I’d put my best friend in a day care, too. And it’s good to allow Henry to learn how to share, how to socialize, etc. Look at me: my mom stayed at home with me & now I’m 98% anti-social. And fuck if I like sharing!
July 27th, 2006 at 8:01 am
You can catch up on your internet porn.
Or look for a job.
Or write a letter to your congressman
Or build a castle out of popcicle sticks
Or make a latch-hook rug
The world is yours!
July 27th, 2006 at 8:10 am
Go to our house and entertain my husband, who DOES stay home with the baby – and is a little psycho as a result.
And hey, where is this daycare of which you speak? We’ll be sending ours out to pasture soon, too.
July 27th, 2006 at 9:54 am
Umm Danielle, I think I have a crush on you know because of the snap comment.
July 27th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Being at home with a child is the hardest thing because you have to be constantly *alert*! No zoning out allowed. Ever. The little shits will do you in if you go into the zone. (I use the term “little shits” in the nicest possible way.)
July 27th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Might be too late for today – but maybe tomorrow … ?
22nd Annual Newberry Library Book Fair
Browse through more than 100,000 donated books–many of them priced under $2–at this remarkable sale. Free. 60 W. Walton Street. 12 N to 8 PM. For more information, call 312-255-3510 http://www.newberry.org/
July 27th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Pretty sure bars can open at 6am everywhere outside of OK.
July 27th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
Your kid will be in daycare while you are at home not working? That’s a pretty fucking sweet deal.
July 27th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
You’re telling me, dude. At this point the daycare dues are tantamount to paying a weekly rate to not lose my fucking mind.
July 28th, 2006 at 1:06 am
OMG! Have you seen Domino? It includes such fine actors as Brian Austin Green and Ian Whatever playing themselves as Celebrity Hostages opposite some other poorly edited folks. Worth checking out at the library if you have 8 free hours. BAG gets sucker punched…
July 28th, 2006 at 1:16 am
Danielle took my initial idea.
Damn.
My next suggestion would be that I guess you could grab a rental car, have a few drinks, and drive around unknown Illinois territory. I hear that’s good for a couple days worth of fun – at least.
Either that, or apply for some jobs.
Six of one… half dozen of the other…
July 28th, 2006 at 1:19 am
Jimmy Jam Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Wow. What am I, a Russian poet?
July 28th, 2006 at 7:09 am
First you should go looking for that one thing you were looking for right after you moved in. This will entail pulling all of the boxes you stashed in your closet OUT and going through them one by one, invariably, there will be something sparkly that catches your eye and you’ll temporarily forget the original thing you were looking for cause now you need the other sparkly thing that goes with this one. and then OH YEAH, i was looking for that other cool thing.
In my life this could take a whole day!
July 28th, 2006 at 10:53 am
Dear Brian Byrne:
Can we switch lives? K, Thx.
Love, Styro.
July 28th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Couldn’t taking pictures of the TV become your full time job? I think it could be potentially rewarding. With, of course, the obligatory breaks for beer and blogging.
July 28th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
I too have a crush on Danielle for smoothly using “ooooooooooh snap”!!!! Major, major props. Brian, you are sooooo funny and creative I think you should somehow try to make this blog your full-time job. I mean, am I the only who checks this blog obsessively for new entries. Your play by play comments on tv shows, for example, have me rolling!!! You are sooo NOT a failure. I can take about 3 hours with a crawling (self-mobile) infant and then I am through. AND yes, I LOVE kids.
July 28th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
Jon’s comment just made my day, seriously. I can’t stop laughing and imagining a Hallinell/Yevtushenko bro down.
July 28th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
I can’t stop saying the words “bro down.” With those two I imagine a lot of staring and vodka shots.
This reminds me of something I need to do.