byrneunit

I rarely know what you’re talking about.

it’s on.

Through a carefully crafted plan of my own devising, owing apparently to the fact that I must have had some rudimentary shred of self-awareness at the time, very few photographs exist of me between ages 13 and, oh, roughly 22. Which unfortunately means I’m having a hard time scraping up bershon pictures of myself.
Thank god [...]

“Announcement,” or “wherein our protagonist is vexed by a T-shirt.”

Okay, apropos of nothing, you know what’s officially outta here? Beer snobs. Beer snobs, you’re outta this game. Back to the locker room with you. See the manager tomorrow morning.
It’s just that I just now saw this guy in the coffee shop with a t-shirt that said “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drink Cheap Beer” (and [...]

workin’ for the Monday

So this Saturday we got A) a babysitter, and B) drunk. “Got a babysitter” is a bit of a misrepresentation, as it implies we actually took the initiative to go out and look for someone to babysit our boy, when in fact we just took Holly* up on her offer to babysit Henry.
Nonetheless, the baby [...]

Note.

In light of some disturbing shit that’s happened in someone else’s household, I’ve deleted some pissing matches from the comments box. If any of your comments were deleted, please know that it’s only because of the color of your skin that I torment you so.

update

I just spent 10 minutes in the tub with one of those rasp/file combo jobbies you’re supposed to use to sand the calluses off your feet, and OH MY GOD IT’S LIKE I’VE GOT A BRAND NEW BIG TOE, SERIOUSLY.

oh dear GOD.

Tiny E just alerted me to something truly awful that’s slated to happen on VH1’s “Flavor of Love” this Sunday, a show wherein Flava Flav woos bitches en masse, apparently in hopes of finding some sort of uber-whore, some slut Serpentor (Serpentwhore?) assembled from the DNA of the skankiest bitches through space and time.
Read the [...]

stupid thing.

There’s this thing that shows up after E’s gone to bed, when I’m destroying the best years of my life with stupid shit on television.

I think it’s a centipede. Or something. But I honestly don’t know. The bugs are different here. In Tulsa we had crickets during the warm months, and they only hung around [...]

Please do come witness the horror.

Recently my dear bride mentioned one of the very worst episodes of 90 ever made, ever ever ever. It will, and I’m not exaggerating, haunt both of us until the day we die. Probably it’ll be the last thing we think about before hurtling off to Hell for the rest of eternity. Actually it’ll probably [...]