byrneunit

I rarely know what you’re talking about.

it’s on.

Posted on | August 23, 2006 | 13 Comments

Through a carefully crafted plan of my own devising, owing apparently to the fact that I must have had some rudimentary shred of self-awareness at the time, very few photographs exist of me between ages 13 and, oh, roughly 22. Which unfortunately means I’m having a hard time scraping up bershon pictures of myself.

Thank god once again for television, and for SoapNet, and for its daily delivery of she who may well be dubbed without hyperbole the very inventor, the patron fucking saint, of Bershon: Miss Kelly Taylor.

Stage II.

She can NOT EVEN DEAL with you right now. Especially if you are Dylan.

Category: 90210, Television

Comments

13 Responses to “it’s on.”

  1. Ceece
    August 24th, 2006 @ 7:47 am

    that’s fucking.awesome.

  2. Michelle
    August 24th, 2006 @ 7:49 am

    Those are the most sculpted eyebrows I’ve seen since Joan Collins. Bravo, Kelly.

  3. styro
    August 24th, 2006 @ 8:38 am

    Yeah, I hid from cameras or burned all the photos of my teen years. It’s for the best.

  4. briantologist
    August 24th, 2006 @ 8:43 am

    I was at the awkward in-between hair-growing-out stage for like seriously three years. And also kind of a fatty. In a trench coat. It was ridiculous.

  5. cw
    August 24th, 2006 @ 9:01 am

    I totally had you pegged for a trenchcoat, just FYI.

  6. Mrs. CPA
    August 24th, 2006 @ 10:38 am

    The only thing that could make that picture better is if you could see the palm of her carefully french-manicured hand peeking over the DVR line.
    I’m sure it’s an understood guesture.

  7. Kim
    August 24th, 2006 @ 12:02 pm

    I was also too bershon to allow any camera to capture it. As such, the world will now be deprived of my super-cool asymmetrical cut, spiral permed hair and the look of sheer disgust that I wore on my face.

  8. RJ
    August 24th, 2006 @ 3:33 pm

    When you describe yourself as “kind of fatty and in a trench coat” I think — Kevin Smith. Yeah?

  9. Carole
    August 24th, 2006 @ 10:08 pm

    Nobody makes Kelly Taylor bershon like Valerie, particularly when Valerie is dishing out coke to Kelly’s BF, Colin. And I don’t mean the cola kind. There needs to be a whole other category of 90210 bershonitude; Bershonivalerie.

  10. Ceece
    August 25th, 2006 @ 8:02 am

    brian, you totally sound like you were the inspiration for Silent Bob.

  11. Kris
    August 25th, 2006 @ 9:47 am

    Question: Do heterosexual men have the ability to effectively portray bershonitude?

  12. MizH
    August 28th, 2006 @ 3:20 pm

    I used to have a student named Bershaun. She was.

  13. Ashley
    September 27th, 2006 @ 3:29 pm

    Kelly Taylor no longer has eyeballs due to the hyper frequency in which she rolled them.

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