« Please do come witness the horror. | Home | oh dear GOD. »
stupid thing.
By briantologist | August 2, 2006
There’s this thing that shows up after E’s gone to bed, when I’m destroying the best years of my life with stupid shit on television.
I think it’s a centipede. Or something. But I honestly don’t know. The bugs are different here. In Tulsa we had crickets during the warm months, and they only hung around in the basement, though the cats were fond of bringing them up and batting them around, leaving severed cricket legs around the house. From time to time we’d find a roach, but it’d always be dead or dying, and huge, as if it had come upstairs to die in peace after a long, prosperous roach life.
It’s disgusting, this thing. I hate roaches, and they’re disgusting, of course. But they’re a known disgusting, and one I’m resigned to seeing occasionally inside the house, so long as they don’t show up in any kind of numbers. But these things? Christ. I don’t know. I mean, they’re just other bugs, but they’re exceptionally gross to me. They’re practically alien when they show up this late at night, when the fact that I’m far, far away from where I come from creeps in around the edges. Tiny chipmunks with the heads of Don Rickles may as well have scuttled up the wall for as far out of my element as these creepy little fucking things make me feel some nights. Fuck. What the hell am I doing here?
Same thing I was doing there, so far. But in a much better place.
Topics: Existential Horror, Stuff | 16 Comments »
August 3rd, 2006 at 9:59 am
I’ve heard people call those ‘water bugs.’ I think they’re most scary because you don’t know what they’re going to do to you when it comes down to it. Sting you? Bite you? Poison you? To death perhaps?
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:06 am
Many legs? Crawls on your wall? Freaks you out?
Definitely centipede – it is the season.
Just keep telling yourself that they eat other bugs. And don’t eat humans. Or at least, not very often.
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:07 am
We have those here in Delaware. All of them in my house. We’ve always assumed they were some sort of centipede. We’ve put down all sorts of toxins around the house, but they are resilient and always return bigger than ever. They are the most disgusting things on the face of the Earth. My husband and I fight over whose turn it is to kill. BTW, our Swiffer is now known as “The Bug Killer.” Paired with a paper towel is the best thing for killing them – which really is a two-person job, because if you don’t have a spotter while someone gets the bug killer, that thing is gone.
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:21 am
I hate palmetto bugs. They’re huge flying roaches.
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:31 am
It’s called a House Centipede – and they’re your friends because they actually EAT roaches.
http://www.ipm.iastate.edu/ipm/iiin/housece.html
We used to call them “sink bugs” because we’ve killed them in our sinks so many times. Then we stopped b/c we hate roaches more.
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:42 am
I HATE those things. I hate them more than roaches. I hate them more than giant hairy spiders. I used to call them “Bentley bugs”, because the first time I ever encountered them was in my dorm room at college (Bentley).
I hate them mostly because of 2 things — they have lots of legs, and they’re hella fast.
Okay, now I’m going to have the heebie jeebies all afternoon.
August 3rd, 2006 at 11:41 am
Anything that eats roaches may actually be worth breeding. Which I doubt they have a problem doing. They may just do it in a weird way.
I don’t kill spiders because they eat things too. They’re your friends (unless they start getting brave & coming towards you after living with them for awhile).
The thing that bugs me the most about bugs is thinking about them breeding IN MY HOUSE – under my bed, in the walls… Bug intercourse – EW!
August 3rd, 2006 at 12:10 pm
I have these too – all over the house. Eradication is next to impossible. I have seen one with a body as big as my index finger…honest. Add all those legs in there too and you have got one enourmous nasty creature.
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:02 pm
I believe these are a Chicago apartment plague.
I had these in my apartment too, but ours was a ground-level garden apartment with shitty windows that I know every living creature crawled right into.
They moved so fast I could never get a clear pic.
skeeeeevy.
August 3rd, 2006 at 11:55 pm
They are known as house centipedes and they scare the bajebus out of me. Although oftentimes when I see one when I am drunk, I want to put mascara all over their little legs to make them pop more.
August 4th, 2006 at 1:29 am
We used to get house centipedes in the dorms at Sarah Lawrence. They’d usually be chillin in the sink or the bathtub in the mornings, and of course you don’t see the tub ones until you’re nekkid and in there ready to shower, and suddenly you have to find a way to kill this monster of an insect before it eats your face or delicates.
If they’re so great at catching roaches, why are they hanging out in the bathroom, huh? Shouldn’t they be in the walls or floorboards or something, doing their jobs?
August 7th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
We have these too! I’m blaming it on the garden apartment. I try to only kill them when my glasses are off so I can’t see how many hundreds of legs they have. The only reason I’m not completely terrified of them is because they can’t fly.
August 10th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Go to this long website:
muextension.missouri.edu/explore/agguides/pests/g07362.htm
What you have are house centipedes. I have them too, just recently discovered them after 13 years of living in my home. They scare the life out of me, I guess because they are so fast. The article on this website says they eat spiders. Get rid of the spiders and the centipedes will be gone.
However the spiders are eating other bugs in my basement so I guess if I get rid of the other bugs I will get rid of the spiders which will, in turn. leave the centipedes with nothing to eat.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:34 pm
Saw one this am, took me an hour to finally kill it! After I followed it from the hallway to the dining room it made it it’s way to the ceiling & then fell to the floor & I jumped on the chair & saw it running & managed to finally get it!
They freak me out & every hot humid summer day I have to leave my bedroom (in the early am) & do a mission impossible, looking all around the walls, ceiling & floor & running into the bathroom, took me 10 min one am to leave my room & go in to the bathroom! Must keep lights on in every room practically! God I hate the summer esp. humidity, that’s when you see them the most. Living in a garden apt. makes it all the more worse. heard of diffrent things to keep them away/kill them, im gonna try them & pray they work, can’t live like this every morning! Wish me Luck to all you other pede haters!!!
September 30th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
So i am glad Im not the only one with the house centipede creatures. I first spotted one in my garden level old apartment about a month ago and it was so fast i didnt get a look at what it was. It was just fast, then tonight i flipped on the light in the bedroom and sure enough this time my fiance was able to catch this one. We also have a problem with spiders and lil creatures along with the dampness garden apartment. Im about to move outta this place because i dont feel like having one crawl in bed with us at night. Any suggestions???
October 1st, 2006 at 2:34 pm
I’ve been living with these B-Movie monsters for the last two years. Not in a garden apartment, mind you – a 3rd floor loft where they crawl in & out of cracks in the exposed brick. I found this site trying to figure out what the heck they were and yeah – they eat spiders but… unless these insects are gonna start chipping in for rent – they’ve GOTTA GO! I’ve got the permanent heebie-jeebies now.