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Dim the lights.
By briantologist | September 21, 2006
All right, bitches. Looks like it’s just you and me from here on out. I fully expect to see that readership declining rapidly, so don’t disappoint me.
Speaking of not being disappointed, Tiny E recently alerted me to how fucking awesome Mary Worth has been of late. In addition to the strip’s generalized awesomeness, which springs in no small part from its just remarkably, artfully, nay, poetically slow pace. When criticizing newspaper comic strips, many point out that, for example, Dennis the Menace couldn’t still be six years old after being syndicated for 55 years, but the same logic falls flat when applied to Mary Worth, a strip in which 68 years of daily advancement have covered about a week and a half’s worth of action. Seriously, you’re lucky if they get through a sentence per day in this bitch, and it’s fucking magical.
So yes, it appears the Widow Worth now has a stalker, and he looks exactly like Captain Kangaroo. This is entirely on purpose, according to a little something I read lately. I cannot urge you strongly enough to visit this page and start the stalker saga from the beginning; it cuts off at August 15, but you can pick it up pretty soon after that here, and get all caught up. I mean, it’s fantastic in its own right, but it’s augmented a thousandfold by another site E pointed me to (she does all the thinking in this house), which probably you’ve been reading for years because your head’s not up your ass. The Comics Curmudgeon is just absolutely one of the greatest sites of any kind I have ever read, and it’s as much to do with the commentors as it is with the site’s Major Domo, who slays, slays me.
And then! There’s this! Sadly it’s anonymous, as I would dearly love the chance to weep tears of joy while thanking whoever writes it for indirectly breaking three of my ribs as I try to stifle hoots and hollers, actual instances of both, while I sit in my cubicle and pretend to proofread SKU numbers in print ads for paper shredders. But dear god, whoever writes it … just please know how badly you’ve hurt me, physically, with laughter. I can’t thank you enough.
Topics: Fucking Awesome, The Internets | 21 Comments »
September 22nd, 2006 at 12:07 am
You should be careful – you don’t want your co-workers to think you’re the kind of person that finds paper shredders funny.
September 22nd, 2006 at 5:11 am
Me too! Comics Curmudgeon dragged me back into Mary Worth via Aldo Kelrast, the mad, now-drunken, stalker. If CC can find a way to liven up Prince Valiant and draw people over there then he should truly be knighted by the comics community.
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:49 am
Actually that might be exactly the kind of person you want people to think you are.
September 22nd, 2006 at 7:32 am
sweet fancy moses that comic moves slow! I WANT to like it since you, my arbiter of good taste, dig it. but lord that bitch moves slow!
September 22nd, 2006 at 7:55 am
Yeah, it’s kinda like watching an Italian movie. Sometimes you have to force yourself to sit through a few before you start enjoying yourself. Except Aldo Kelrast is WAY more fun than Fellini.
September 22nd, 2006 at 7:55 am
Thanks (E) for the head’s up on Mary Worth! It’s one of those comics I tend to overlook but now I want to know what happened to Captain Kangaroo.
September 22nd, 2006 at 8:58 am
Dammit Brian, I’d managed to live almost 30 years without reading Mary Worth, and I just spent the last half hour engrossed in her exploits with Captain Kangaroo. Curses!
September 22nd, 2006 at 11:38 am
I loved the handrubbing panel. And the whole conversation over the rumors? I would LOVE to play that out as live action. Read the the dialogue and see how many ways they can repeat the SAME FUCKING WORDS!!!
September 23rd, 2006 at 12:51 pm
damn you briantologist, damn you. mary worth isn’t in my local paper so i can’t pretend i don’t care but still surreptitiously (sp?) keep track of the story. now i have to willfully pull up a damn web page ON PURPOSE to see what the freak aldo is going to do.
damn you.
September 23rd, 2006 at 6:26 pm
I agree. Damn you. I’m not going to be able to live without knowing what happened to Aldo!
September 24th, 2006 at 6:32 am
Something funny: It’s taken me over a week to get the “Kelrast” joke.
Something funnier: I’m an English teacher.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:23 am
OH NO! Aldo is DEAD! Whatever will Mary do??
September 25th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
I am chagrinned and heartbroken. As are the *hundreds* of commentors at Comics Curmudgeon.
September 26th, 2006 at 7:27 am
is this you?
September 26th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Oh dear! What a tragic fate! Let me just add that there’s very little more awesome than being “chagirnned.” Maybe being “vexed” is more awesome, but only a little.
September 26th, 2006 at 1:58 pm
If only I had spellt “chagrinned” correctly in that last comment. How vexing!
September 26th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Mary Worth is Cree-Pee.
September 27th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
R.I.P. Aldo Kelrast
1960 (?)-2006
“Daddy’s Little Angel”
September 29th, 2006 at 9:07 am
I miss Erin.
September 30th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Um, ouch?
October 1st, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Oh, dang, not a comment on your post. Just an aside, though I don’t remember what prompted it.