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oh, sandwich. I can’t stay mad at you.
By briantologist | October 12, 2006
So I don’t guess I’ve talked in much detail the staggeringness of our move to Chicago yet. I’m pretty sure I have yet to completely process it; in talks with friends of ours who’ve moved here from Tulsa, we’ve learned it often takes nearly a year for it to sink in that when we go home to visit, we won’t just turn around and go straight back to our old lives, which clearly have been waiting for us to get near enough to vacuum us back in.
I mean, dude, seriously, this is fucking crazy. I’ve never done anything remotely like this before. I have lived in Tulsa Motherscratching Oklahoma my entire effing life, except for the two years I spent in Enid Motherscratching Oklahoma, a town designed to make Tulsa look like a cultural Mecca. I now live in the third-largest city in the United States. I work next door to the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. This is … I mean, fuck. I want to say this is not what I thought my life would be like. But the truth is that I never have had any clear idea what my life would be like.
Seriously, my expectations haven’t necessarily been low; what I’ve always wanted most out of life was to be with somebody fantastic and to have a few awesome friends, and a lot of people never make it that far. I guess I never must have expected both of those things to come true, but they sure did come the crap true, and then some. I guess what I mean to say is that not only do I already have everything I really wanted out of life, I’ve got far more (see Baby in the Entire World, comma, Cutest, and also a high-definition television). And I guess that’s actually a big part of what’s thrown me for a loop: Basically I already have everything I ever wanted out of life. So, um, now what?
I mean, certainly it’s pretty goddamned exciting to realize this, and in truth, it’s only just now occurred to me. I guess the answer to now what? was “Now you leave your comfort zone and see what else you can make yourself do, Tubbolas.”
It’s beyond exciting. It’s fucking mind-boggling. To me, anyway. Part of this whole thing is the swallowing of my pride, to an extent, and the getting on with something most people do when they go to college, i.e., move away from home. Technically I did move to Enid, but I kind of think it doesn’t count as much when you’re within two hours’ drive of the very spot where you were born, or at least it didn’t seem to count as much for me. And I guess that after living at home for so long (living in Tulsa is basically like living with your parents, it’s worth noting, in that in a very real way it feels like everybody already knows you, and knows what you’re capable of, and is basically over you and your schtick, so don’t bother trying to impress us, Jack), I’d started to believe I wasn’t capable of doing anything else. So in fact, I guess I’m still wrapping my mind around that earth-shatterer.
I’m pretty sure I started this with something to say, but I’m struck now by how typically bloggy this post has gotten, how diary-like and how (I hope) uncharacteristic it is. I try to steer clear of actual reflection up in here, and toward poop jokes and photographs of the television, which is perhaps why I’m only realizing these deeper truths about my life just this minute. Hmm. How ’bout that.
Maybe what I was gonna say is that it effing snowed today, October 12, and I gotta say it was pretty fucking exciting. Hi, winter where I come from is rain and temperatures in the high forties. Pleased to meet you, mighty Midwest.
Topics: Exciting, Possibly, Thinkin'. | 12 Comments »
October 13th, 2006 at 9:13 am
Oh! That’s so cute! You liked the snow! Check back in three months when you’re slogging through dirty, dirty, slush, disgusting piles of it on your way to work and having to shovel that shit off your car just to go to the grocery store and then come back and someone has put an old kitchen chair in your parking spot. They do that, you know, bastards. Then, in February, when you’re waking up to Lisa Labez saying, “Good morning, it’s negative thirteen degrees outside,” then. . . well, fuckit. Summer totally makes it worth it. I seriously love Chicago.
October 13th, 2006 at 9:47 am
“Pleased to meet you, mighty Midwest”…
You ain’t seen NUTHIN’ yet!
October 13th, 2006 at 10:54 am
Man, that’s what everyone says to me, here in Prague, when I say “I love winter.” The snow is beautiful, and the cold makes me feel energetic, and nothing like mere cold weather and dirty slush could possibly take the shine off fucking Prague, for chrissakes.
I feel you, Mr. Byrne. I’m not sure I’m so lucky as to feel like I have everything I’ve ever wanted from life, since it still seems pretty certain that I’m going to die alone and be eaten by wild dogs, but I look around me everyday, and think “Whoa, dog! Look at you!”
What’s tough is explaining to my family how much I’m never leaving this heaven on earth.
October 13th, 2006 at 11:11 am
Dude, I know! Seriously, I gotta find a way to get my parents up in this neck of the woods so they can see their grandbaby more regularly, ’cause seriously, I sure am not returning, ever, to Jesushoma.
October 13th, 2006 at 11:28 am
Go Brian, go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 13th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Oh, I liked the blogginess of this entry. You mused and pondered and rambled. It doesn’t get much bloggier than that, except that your grammar was too good and you spelled everything correctly.
October 13th, 2006 at 6:39 pm
I can’t believe you live in Chicago. I live in a town on the Washington (state) peninsula that would make Tulsa look like a culutural metropolis, and it seems like people only live in New York or Chicago in movies and TV shows. How dumb am I? I’m jealous that it snowed there. Our climate also has the mild winters, and the planets have to align just perfectly for it to ever snow here. Lucky!
October 13th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Oklahoma made Chicago! All you people up there just remember how much oil we have, how much you burn it and how much we’re going to rape you in the winter. Mighty heavens of little red screaming maggots are on all the floors of the Sears tower, in every corner of the Drake and crawl throuh the Pissaro’s of the Institute! Bloginess or not, you’ll suffer! Mark my words, you will suffer!
October 13th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
I also loved the blogginess of this entry. continue. :-)
October 13th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
I forgot to mention how much less frequently I have to gas up here. It’s like once every three and a half weeks. Thanks, CTA!
As for the maggots, you get used to them after a while.
October 15th, 2006 at 8:32 am
I lived in Oklahoma by accident for five years and that was 11 years ago. I think you hit the nail on the head when you say that staying in an environment where everyone has always known you is very stultifying. No matter what you do, everyone already knows who you are and it will never matter one bit. And it was really the “thing” to live next door to your parents and down the road from your brother…kinda wierd to this northern girl.
But we have moved on and no longer count a night on the town as a visit to the local bait/taco shop.
And I no longer have to explain the absences of those missionaries after they knocked on my door…Just another sacrificial offering to my goat legged god.
Yeah, and we now get snow up to your eyeballs every winter. It rocks!
October 30th, 2006 at 11:38 am
I made the insane decision to come back to Tulsa after college in Chicago (U of C). I know, I know. I’m still slapping my forehead over that one, too. Extenuating circumstances and all that. And now, with two little kids and other obligations tied to this place, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to leave. If we ever do get out, Chicago is one of the places we’d consider going. I do love it there.
(Um, but the winters? They’re great at first, magical and energizing with all that pretty snow…but then, after months with no sun, it’s a bit more of a challenge – just wanted to warn you. Got a light box?)
(John and I miss your presence here, btw – we were fans of your work.)