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    • Archive for March, 2007

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    Did you know?

    Saturday, March 31st, 2007

    Guess how much it costs to fly a family of three from Chicago to Tulsa! Go ahead, take a guess. Just a stab. Here, I’ll give you a hint: It’s a thousand dollars. True story. Apparently when we priced tickets for the holidays last year? Those weren’t expressly “Holiday prices” per se, so much as [...]

    fascinating

    Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

    Two facts I did not fully realize before this morning: 1. There is a small switch located on the back of the neck of every child born to humankind. This switch has two positions: Position A is “TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS”; Position B is “NOT A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS.” 2. This switch [...]

    Dear American Idol,

    Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

    Ok Idol, I was stoked about Stefani night, but it really turned out to be boring night. I guess it’s because she left her comfort women at home. Stefani’s pretty and all, but you have to admit that she’s not exactly blessed with a golden voice. You know that when she heard Mindy Doo belt [...]

    Go Ironmen!!

    Monday, March 26th, 2007

    From 1978 to 1984 my mother was the high school librarian in Nowata, Oklahoma. The following photos are from her personal collection. Whenever possible I put the note that appeared next to their photo in the yearbook. Please forgive me, as I left out some of the more incomprehensible extracurricular activities; VICA? Huh? I have [...]

    Sometimes I wonder how I ever managed to be born

    Friday, March 23rd, 2007

    Not too long ago Henry fell down and got a bump on his eyebrow/face area. There’s a teensy scar, but I’m pretty sure it’ll fade once we get him to the pediatric plastic surgeon. I told my Dad what had happened and this was his reply: Some time in the future Henry and I will [...]

    Dear American Idol,

    Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

    Let me warn you, Idol, I have a sore throat and I am in no mood to be trifled with. Yes, yes, I know you’ve got a piping hot serving of Lulu on the menu tonight, garnished with a side of Noone and his laser eyes, but this is like the 10th sore throat, snotty [...]

    um.

    Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

    Right. So, uh. K-Fed … started a search engine. Four comparable occurrences: • Martha Raye, denture wearer, starts a small cluster bomb-manufacturing concern. • Toby Keith, noted jingoist, establishes a literary fiction imprint of his own. • Doug Flutie, diminutive former NFL and CFL quarterback, opens a dry-cleaning storefront in Lincoln, Nebraska. • Smokey Robinson, [...]

    magic Sunday

    Sunday, March 18th, 2007

    In the absence of professional football, I had no choice today but to see through to fruition something that’s become a minor obsession of mine lately. For this, I profusely thank Styro, my esteemed colleague. And so, without further ado: bucket.

    gettin’ Ziggy with it

    Friday, March 16th, 2007

    So I’m a slavish devotee and a shameless booster of The Comics Curmudgeon, and since I acquired that habit I’ve been pretty diligent about reading the comics every day. (The Houston Chronicle’s website has an excellent free portal for nearly every strip I can think of.) Among the fantastic features of the site is that [...]

    Journalistus Interruptus

    Thursday, March 15th, 2007

    This is my current favorite thing I’ve read on the Internets. Mainly because I’m confident, having seen bits and pieces of local newscasts from time to time, that the programming did not actually become less informative during this brief, slutty interlude.

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