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“worst episode ever.”
By briantologist | March 6, 2007
So I was carrying Henry out to the car this morning and my foot went straight out from under me on some ice, and we both went down really, really fast, and I was not between him and the dirt when he fell, and if there is an award for wanting to gouge one’s own eyes out in the name of self-flagellation, e-mail me and I’ll send you my street address, so that you may more effectively deliver this award to what’s left of me when I’m done grinding myself into a thick paste.
He’s fine, I think. He had a bruise and some scratches on his forehead, and one small cut that we don’t think needs stitches (we verified this with our landlords upstairs, whose kids are experts in needing stitches), and he was upset, to which I can relate. But he’ll be okay; he may already be okay, for all I know. I just don’t know what to say. I know he’ll be fine, I know there’s nothing I could’ve done to prevent it, I know this isn’t a reflection on whether or not I’m a good father, and I don’t believe a single word of the preceding sentence. I can’t make myself buy it, down deep where it matters. And every minute of my day is infused with this. It’s like a wet blanket over my head that I can’t make myself take off.
Ah, the delights of parenthood.
Topics: Reflections From the Bottom Rung | 12 Comments »
March 6th, 2007 at 11:20 am
For what it’s worth, I know the feeling. My toddler fell face first and had a nosebleed. the tears!
I still haven’t forgiven myself. I still want to run to the ER, 4 weeks later.
(He’s fine. It’s me I’m worried about!)
March 6th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS TO EVERY PARENT EVER. I know that may not make you feel better right this minute, but know ye, byrneunitians, it is the truth. My bro and sis and I all have scars, actual scars, from stuff that happened right in front of one or both parents, and we’re all mostly kind of normal now …
March 6th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Delurking to say…
When I was just a little older than Henry, my old man almost elbowed me off the side of a boat into the sea by accident (no lifejacket) These things happen to all parents; console yourself that it’ll be one of many great stories for him to recount in the blog comment boxes of the future.
March 6th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Babies are called ‘bouncing’ for a reason. I’m more worried about you-hope you’re back’s ok.
March 6th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Aaron fell over backwards in our computer chair. Holding Sophie. When she was about 5 days old. He wanted to put his feet up on something and kind of over-flung his legs in the effort. I think we both lost about 50 years of our lives in that moment. She was fine. I’m so glad Henry is okay. Your scars? Not sure if they’ll heal.
March 6th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I’m not sure if I want to tell you the story about That Time My Husband Sat On Our Newborn, or if I want to tell you about That Time Our Newborn Was Hit In The Head By A Rogue Basketball.
Either way, she’s fine, normal, 13, and in a school for smarties, so don’t worry. And try not to beat yourself up too badly. It really does happen to everyone.
March 6th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
I missed one of our stairs and went down hard when the boy was just a few weeks old. My husband came and scooped him out of my arms, continued down the stairs, missed the next to the bottom stair and went down even harder (Luckily, the boy never hit the ground in either case, but still…). I’ve also tried to step over him when he was sitting in the floor and kicked him right in the head. Now that he is seven, he is able to knee himself in the face and get a swollen, bloody lip all his own.
March 7th, 2007 at 12:21 am
Ah, just wait ’til he’s old enough to participate in his grandpa’s and great-uncle’s annual “let’s-blow-up-the-entire-goddamn-countryside” celebration of our nation’s independence. I have a feeling it’ll put this whole slipping-on-the-ice business in perspective.
Seriously, man, don’t beat yourself up.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:06 am
Did your parents ever tell you “This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you”?
Now you know why.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
As long as you didn’t purposefully use his little body to break your own fall, you’re ok.
March 7th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
That happened to me just last week! It happened so fast that I can honestly say that the only reason Charlotte’s little bald noggin didn’t hit the ground was pure dumb luck.
Don’t worry…kids heal up faster than we oldies do.
March 8th, 2007 at 8:36 am
A little while ago, Jackson was being pushed by his mom around in a swivel chair the hardwood floors. You know, for fun. I rounded the corner, and he yelled DA DA! and took a leap out of the chair. His face hit the hardwoods, and he bit his lip pretty good.
I wanted to drive to DHS my self and hand him over.