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The movie where that guy from Creed played a werewolf
By ELB | April 20, 2007
Woah, am I the only one who didn’t realize that Underworld: Evolution (UW:E) was totally Tastee Freeze Soft Serve Porn? I’m really not surprised by many of the motiffs in UW:E; blood on the sacred seal counjuring the darkest evil from the bowels of the earth, super healing powers, a dude named Lucian. But I was completely surprised that there was nakedness!
Obviously Beckensale (so sub-par) doesn’t show off her Chester A. Arthurs, but she does flash side-butt. There is definite heaving of of a very toned and shiney abdomen, but that could very well have been an ab double. It’s not very hot though because she’s thrusting and thrusting with that dude from Felicity.
Then later, at Lucian’s abandoned cathedral home, we see actual sluts with concrete tits. They eventually fall by the wayside so that Lucian can explain, to both us and the heroine, why the stolen medallion conjures long hidden memories. It has also been explained that the villain who was killed in the first movie had a twin brother. This is nice because they can just use the same actor from the first movie. It saves all that pesky ‘getting to know new characters’ business.
They just demonstrated that the stolen medallion has a secret compartment not unlike the one in the matching ring worn by the Obi-Wan character. Oh, wow! Obi-Wan Ring is the father of the supreme evil! Unfortunately, I can’t tell if the evil guy with the prehensile wings and the supreme evil son are the same guy. Oh, they are! Prehensile Wings just put on a magjick coat and shape shifted into the supreme evil. Then he killed his dad who I think is played by Derek Jacobi.
Did I mention that at one point there is a demon on demon fist fight in the back of a moving truck?
I think I’ve officially lost track of what’s going on. Fortunatley there’s only like, 20 minutes left. I’m not so sure I can focus that long, even with the new ADD medicine I’m taking. We’ll see how it goes. Sadly I don’t think there’s going to be any more nakedness.
Topics: good times., Television | 2 Comments »
April 25th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
here’s where I admit, everytime Underworld is on the TV, I watch it. It’s like XXX, I just can’t look away.
April 25th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I loved the fact that not only did it provide constant flashbacks to the original movie, it then provided flashbacks to earlier in the movie. That said, I still had a hard time figuring out what was going on.