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A modest proposal
By ELB | April 15, 2007
Oh, man, where to begin! Last week HGB was sick, then I got sick. But that’s ok, because then I got better. My Dad and his crazy Russian girlfriend were in town. For two days I watched him follow HGB around, trying to put a sweater on him ’cause Dad was cold. Then when he finally wrestled my baby to the ground and clothed him, he proceeded to tell him to keep him mouth shut while watching The Wiggles.
On Friday, Brian and I met some people at a little place called The Hidden Cove. There I karaoked “Don’t Cry Out Loud” and it was simultaneously my finest and absolute worst hour. Brian once said that, as far as karaoke goes, what I lack in talent, I make up for in enthusiasm; and man, there is no way to not be enthusiastic about Melissa Manchester. At one point I looked up — because I do not need to look at the screen, I know every word to that gem — and Brian had his arm over his face, leaning against a pole, shoulders shaking. He was howling.
Don’t worry, gang, I pulled it through. In fact, I made such an impression that a tubby middle-aged man beckoned me over and shook my hand. He told me I did a great job (I really did) then he asked if I had a pedicure. Wha-ha? He proceeded to tell me that he had ‘a bunch of really expensive purses’ in his car, some worth up to $200! Any one of those designer bags could be mine if I only took off my shoes and showed him my feet.
Sure! Why not! Lemme finish my beer and I’ll come with you out to the alley. You can open up the trunk of your car and I’ll lean waaaay over and rummage around in there. Oh, yeah, can you hold my shoes for me? Cheers. Hey! Is this a Les Clairbourne? I sooo wanted one of these when I was in 7th grade. Thanks scary old man at the Hidden Cove for making my dream come true!
Yeah, actually, no , I don’t have a new purse.
Topics: good times. | 4 Comments »
April 16th, 2007 at 6:54 am
Oh, man, you should team up with my boyfriend. He once Karaoked “Glory of Love”, alternating between spoken word and falsetto. He also danced so hard during “Black Dog” that he pulled the mic out of the amp and was banned for the rest of the evening.
April 16th, 2007 at 7:55 am
Best text message convo ever. I was on the highway, headed out to mom’s farm, howling laughing.
April 16th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
No new purse! That sucks, scary old man! I heart karaoke. My best was in a small hole in the wall bar with a grand audience of three (my friend included).
April 16th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
alley-way foot fetishist, mmmmmm!