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grind, grind, grind
By briantologist | October 23, 2007
Oh, Internet. You look so well-rested and content. How I envy you those things. You look like your neck doesn’t hurt, and like you didn’t spend half of last night in the emergency room, either waiting for medical personnel to show up or resenting them once they did.
Everyone’s fine; let’s just get that clear right off the bat. Henry went to bed just peachy at 7:30 last night; by the time he woke up at 11:30 he sounded like he’d spent 45 years smoking Pall Malls while scrubbing a coal mine with a robust cocktail of ammonia and bleach. He’s had brief bouts of the croup before; come to think of it, the last time we took him to the emergency room in the middle of the night was for his very first bout with said croup. (Awww.) They haven’t been this bad, though, and they haven’t seemed to be causing him actual pain like this one apparently was, so off we went.
OK, a brief note: If you, person reading this, are a hospital, and if you’re in the process of laying yourself out, please do not hide the Emergency Room entrance. This is my humble request of you. OK, it’s possible it wasn’t “hidden” so much as I was simply “driving while comatose”; it’s also possible that the fact that the ER entrance actually did move since the last time we were there could’ve thrown me off a little. Nonetheless: More big red signs and big red arrows, ER. Please.
So yeah, and then once we got an actual doctor in there, he turned out to hail from a country where you can successfully reason with a hysterical, shrieking, thrashing, beet-red two-year-old by kind of shouting an explanation to him of why he (the two-year-old) needs to put the hissing mask on his face and breathe the healing steam. I would kill to know how they get toddlers to listen to reason in Upper Jerkistan, as this method would truly be an asset to our fine melting pot hereabouts. I would also like to know how much success Dr. Yellsatkids has had with this method stateside*, because he was batting a biggo goose egg last night.
Eventually we got an additional doctor to look him over, thank The Jesus, and walked away with a prescription and the promise of a bill in the mail, home again by 4:30 a.m. and fresh for a day of lost productivity. Or whatever you call what I do at work. BRING IT!
* — Okay, okay, it’s not fair to pick on someone for not being from around here. Which is why I’m picking on him for being a fucking asshole, and simply constructing an extended cheap shot around the fact that he’s not from around here. See, it’s all about the fairness.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 4 Comments »
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:45 am
Oh! I should have read this first.
I hope that doctor is itchy in uncomfortable places.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:17 am
Whatever country they hail from yellers-at-sick-toddlers, are all from Jerkistan at heart. Sounds like a bad listener too. My recent ER experience involved the doctor completely ignoring me weak declerations of medical history. FUN times! Unnecessary MRIs. Wheeee.. So, I sympathize.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:44 pm
I have never felt like the cream o’ the crop doctors are the ones getting stuck pulling middle-of-the-night ER duty, know what I mean? Glad the littlun’ is feeling better. Finally came here after waiting in vain for the followup Tweet. I’m quick on the uptake like that.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Croup sucks. We just recovered from a bout ourselves. Only 1 more bad night. Or did you get the magical cough syrup with steroids?