« My day thus far | Home | “Work in Progress.” »
MOMMY’S WORKING!
By ELB | October 18, 2007
So, yeah, like I said, I’m unemployed and doing this consulting/free-lance shit from home. Is ‘free lance’ one word? Two? Whatev, I don’t want to go into the specifics of why I’m unemployed because the reasons behind me leaving have plagued me for months now and, frankly, I’m sick of talking about it.
Some people might say I’m pushing all of the tense terror that surrounds me way, way down into my shoes. Those people are right. Those people happen to be my husband and my mother, neither of whom have gotten the full brunt of my anxiety. I mean, if I let it out it would be a lot like the time my young father talked his younger brother into dropping a giant rock onto a dead, bloated cow carcass they found in a creek bed. All of the horror would rush out of me, flattening everyone in my path, and I would be left for dead, only all my destruction would be visible, rather than fiercely contained within my turgid corpse.
So, I’m going to keep on pushing things down as far as they can go. In the meantime, things are glacial on As the World Turns. SERIOUSLY, it has been the same day for at least a week-and-a-half. Day. Same day. But Luke’s mom finally called Noah and told him to get his scrawny, self-pitying ass to the hospital to see his fucking boyfriend. But before that could happen, Noah had to swipe a bottle of Gilbeys from…somewhere.. and chug it while sitting on a park bench. Smoldering Dusty came by and was all, “This isn’t your fault. I mean, you didn’t know your Sea Bee dad would whip out a 30.06 on your new piece, did you?”
Then Smoldering Dusty left because he had to sit and talk to someone somehwere else. Though, before too long, Noah’s ex-girlfriend showed up and was all, “This isn’t your faultwhatever, whatever, whatever, let’s go back to my house and watch ‘The Best Years of Our Lives.‘” [I am so not kidding about this movie selection] So Noah stashes the hooch in his armpit and goes back to her house with her, where he promptly lays a sloppy, drunk, self-loathing kiss on her in a desperate attempt to not be gay anymore. Needless to say, it doesn’t work. But I am super happy that we weren’t subjected to like, 2 weeks of him being all, “I don’t wanna be gay!” and her being all, “It’s who you are! Buck up, buttercup, you could have lost both your hands in The Shit.”
I bet if that happened, Luke could not be pulled away from Noah’s bedside, even with post-WWII prosthetic technology.
Topics: ATWT, Television | 5 Comments »
October 18th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
I think televisionwithoutpity.com should have a soaps page, and I think you should write it.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Oh, heavens, that would mean I would have to watch the whole episode, and I just can’t do that. For real, yesterday there was, once again, no Luke and Noah, instead we got ‘dying’ Carly and her lantern jawed swain in some rustic cabin, where there were flashbacks to when Carly had Mia Farrow hair.
That’s really all the effort I can put in that.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
You totally missed out on the two weeks during which Dusty was dying in the back seat of his car after the Colonel had shot him and left him for dead, and he was visited by the ghost of Oakdale Madam Cheri. I’m not exaggerating. Two weeks of real time = one Soap day. Cheri almost managed to lead him into the light, but his thirst for vengeance was stronger.
October 19th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I did catch the extreme tail end of that! When he finally told Luke’s Mom (I think) that it was the Colonel who shot him. 2 weeks of real time=1 soap day, but Dusty sure as fuck was out of the hospital fast.
I can help Dusty quench certain thirsts, you know, if he needs help.
October 20th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
they should have recap shows for soaps like they have for reality shows (the soup on E!) I couldn’t possibly sit though all that dysfunctional shit, butrecaps? of just the good stuff? priceless!