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    The haves and the have nots

    By ELB | October 30, 2007

    Things I don’t have:

    a job
    a goiter
    season tickets to the Sky.
    a good nights sleep
    the ability to feel joy

    Things I do have:

    a family that loves me
    fat kitties
    great hair
    all my teeth
    some questions about the goings on on the Island of Sodor

    Day number a hundred and thirty-millionth of unemployment has really inspired the tension in my neck to bring out the A-game. Soon the muscles in my back will snap up like a venetian blind.

    Topics: Stuff | 8 Comments »

    8 Responses to “The haves and the have nots”

    1. sarah Says:
      October 31st, 2007 at 5:42 am

      You don’t feel joy over the great hair? But you must! Very few people can truly say they have great hair.

      In the past year, I’ve survived two bouts of unemployment (each time, I went about two months without a paycheck). I didn’t have any money saved up, either…but, I still have a roof over my head, and recovering some money hasn’t been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.

      You’ll totally make it–it fucking blows but it’s not permanent.

    2. Matt Ambrose Says:
      October 31st, 2007 at 8:38 am

      My grandmother had a goiter once the size of Rhode Island. And a gouty foot that flared up when she indulged in the Carlo Rossi chablis, which was every night.

      Anyway, I’m going to be in Chicago next week. Wanna meet another disaffected librarian?

    3. Aaron Says:
      October 31st, 2007 at 9:38 am

      the island of sodor really freaks me out sometimes. i’m dying to know what your questions are.

    4. All Adither Says:
      October 31st, 2007 at 2:45 pm

      I’ve found teeth to be very useful. And that makes me joyful.

      Hope you get your joy back soon.

    5. ELB Says:
      November 1st, 2007 at 2:08 pm

      Thanks, gang. I’m sure things will turn out fine. Fingers crossed.

    6. Powers Says:
      November 1st, 2007 at 2:31 pm

      MY biggest question about the Island of Sodor, is:
      Why is George Carlin the omnipresent God figure?

    7. briantologist Says:
      November 1st, 2007 at 5:39 pm

      I would counter that question with this question: Why is George Carlin not an omnipresent God figure more places?

      My personal favorites are the episodes where Alec Baldwin is the omnipresent Sodor God. An island where the Baldwins’ Brightest is in charge, I can get behind.

    8. ELB Says:
      November 2nd, 2007 at 9:42 am

      The way Baldwin says “Beware the viaduct” will haunt my dreams forever.

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