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Distinct possibility
By ELB | November 29, 2007
So, there’s an excellent chance I’ll have a job by the end of the day. I don’t want to go too far into it, obviously, but I will say that it’s a librarian job at a school on the extreme south side. I will most certainly let everyone know if I come across a man named Leroy Brown. Wait, he might be the mascot.
While I’m eager to get back to contributing to our household income, I’ve been at home for so long that getting out in public makes me antsy. Just as I have dropped 10lbs since quitting my job, I have lost 10lbs of confidence in myself. Who knew that was kept in the pudgy waddle under my chin?
This has been a strange time in my life. On one hand, I’m eager to get back to librarianing, but on the other hand, I feel like this was an opportunity to take myself in a different direction. Now, don’t be asking what that direction is. I haven’t totally given up on my dream of writing dirty books, but I think it’ll be a while before that can really support the family. I don’t know what else I want to try. I mean, I’m pretty well suited to being a librarian. But what if there’s something out there that’s totally rad and I’ve never even considered it? Like, professional kitten snuggler or Perry Mason scholar. Maybe it’s time to realize my childhood dream of being a crane operator.
The thing is, I’m scared. My last two jobs made me very, very unhappy for a variety of reasons and I’m afraid of having another job that makes me cry. But as things are now, I do not feel that I can turn the job down just because I’m afraid or because it’s not exactly what I want. Or because I’m a lazy fuck who has gotten pretty used to taking two hour naps every day.
Topics: Thinkin'. | 3 Comments »
November 29th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
I’ve been enjoying your blog for awhile. Funny that I find our you’re a librarian because although I cannot claim the title without THE HOLY AND SACRED DEGREE, I’ve worked in a university library for upwards of 17 years and dammit, I think that counts. Of course what you didn’t tell us about the man you came across was if he was Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, because seriously, that would make a damn funny story. Even to librarians ;)
November 29th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Good luck with the job. You’ll fall right into it and if it doesn’t work out there will be that other direction. Don’t fret… except over the loss of nap time.
Glad you’re feeling better.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:28 am
Oh Erin, I understand where you are right now. There are a lot of factors that can change in a short time, including how you feel about what you are doing. I had a massive change in how I felt about how I live and what I do in life after having the kid. It is taking me a while to figure out what that might be.
I hope your job doesn’t make you cry. Best of luck.