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Gold crown legacy
By ELB | December 18, 2007
So, this year we got a Christmas tree for the first time ever. Not when we were dating did we have one, not when we had our “both of us funk of food service jobs and we’re livin’ on love” apartment. We didn’t even get one when HGB was born. But now that he’s pushing three, we figured it was time to start observing celebrations and traditions and shit. Hence, Christmas tree.
Well, let me tell you who was most enthusiastic about our yuletide flair: My Mother. My Mother has two Christmas trees; one is traditional-ish, it has those few surviving childhood ornaments, and some ribbon or something. The other one is totally tricked out with hundreds, nay, thousands of dollars worth of Hallmark keepsake ornaments, with a heavy focus on star athletes*, Star Trek–all incarnations, and Barbies.
Many years ago, my Mother decided that I was going to collect Barbies, so she started buying them for me. But then I got kinda thick into collecting Barbies. I even went to a show/convention kinda thing in Dallas once. It was off the chain, I saw this tubby woman arguing with a gay man in high and tight jeans (no belt) about a possibly apocryphal sighting of a Swirl Ponytail Francie.**
Well, after a while the Barbie collecting fizzled out and they’re now all in boxes at my Mom’s house, where, upon her death, they, along with all the other insane shit in my Mom’s house, will go up in a ball of flame when my sister and I torch the place Gilbert Grape style.
Now she just buys the Hallmark ornaments. Last Thursday I received a box of approximately 25 assorted Barbie Christmas tree ornaments. I have given four away to deserving souls. The rest, I hung on my goddam tree.
* My step-dad went through all the athlete ornaments and culled those who had been brought up on ‘roids charges. Their asses are fucking benched from the Christmas tree this year.
**Francie was only available with a bubble-flip.
Topics: Generalized Pics, Hoo!, Unnatural History | 8 Comments »
December 19th, 2007 at 9:03 am
Is it possible that this gay man in high and tight jeans (no belt) was, in fact, the legendary Barbie supercollector BillyBoy?
December 19th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Holyshit, Daniel! Where did this Barbie cred come from? I had no idea! But no, I don’t think it was BillyBoy because a man of his fame would have been advertised. This was just some dude.
December 19th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
I’m starting to think that gay man in high and tight jeans was my future husband.
December 20th, 2007 at 8:35 am
On the tip of doll collecting, does anyone want to go with me to the Richmond, VA concert of Dolly Parton’s “Backwoods Barbie Tour”?
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:29 am
Wow! don’t make it to your blog often anymore. Hope you and yours are doing good!!
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:43 am
Quoth BillyBoy ca. 1986, in interview:
“Barbie…is not just *any* doll…she is…*ZEE* doll.”
Just one of those strange things that your developing child brain retains.
December 27th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Hope you two had a Happy Christmas and will have a Merry New Year!
December 29th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Wow. I am loving that you know that Francie came with a bubble-flip. That is knowledge that should never die.
Just found your blog and loved it . . .