byrneunit

I rarely know what you’re talking about.

Beauty rest

So, I don’t know how much NFL Network the rest of the internet is watching, but we here in the Unit have been known to watch the guys throw the ol’ pill around. Yeah, so there’s a lot of football, but I’m honestly not paying attention to it. What I’m scratching my head about is [...]

It was actually Marlena who was posessed

Er ma gur! Remember when Dan Savage left a comment on my lame personal pity party? I like to think he’s been lurking this whole time. Like, he can’t get enough of my trenchant 90210 commentary, and finally spoke up because he was afraid that’s I’d get too bummed out to talk shit about horrible [...]

Lemme go! You’ll get it on my foot!

Usually Smudge can not be carried enough, but when I tried to show her my cold sore Helen Keller style, she got super pissed. I should be grossed out by putting my cat’s foot near my mouth, but rest assured, her precious paw pads have never in their lives touched cat litter. She teeters on [...]

More hurting blisters

My love of clementines has been thoroughly documented, so it won’t be a surprise to many of you that I have gorged myself once again. Only this time I have a scabby, ulcery spot right in the way of my delighted taste buds. This is not a set back, I dig deep within and [...]

Shitty manicure foretold Ledger’s demise!

Let’s just start with this:

Hell to the yes! Nothing crippling depression likes more than a kickin’ fever blister. They always show up in times of extreme stress or light sickness. My sister has never had one, but she gets pink eye semi-regularly. I fully call it a draw.
Over-exposure to the sun will also [...]

I blame Heath Ledger

I was just rejected for a job that I, and everyone I knew, was ridiculously confident that I was going to get. That’s what I get for being confident, isn’t it?
I’m tired of people telling me that this will all be over. I have nothing to say to anybody. My sister, whom I speak with [...]

at every occasion I’ll be ready for a funeral

It went well, I thought. The flight to Albany seemed to go incredibly quick; I barely had a chance to finish my beer before we started our descent. I met my esteemed sister at the car rental counter and guiltily stood aside while she did all the driving, what with my license currently being in [...]

“mixed bag.”

I received two phone calls within an hour of each other yesterday afternoon. Here, in order, are their gists.
1. “Congratulations! You got the job you wanted really, really bad! You start Monday!”
2. “Your grandma’s dead.”
I suppose I should mention that these calls were from different people.
Grandma Byrne was a tough old bird. When I was [...]

How I spent my unemployment

Pattern courtesy Bazaar Bizarre

“Buried Secrets”

Tonight’s LMN evening feature stars Tiffani-Amber Theissen as a girl wearing scoop-necked belly shirts and tall, beltless jeans.
“Buried Secrets” (1996) is about a woman who was murdered and her ghost comes back to help T-AT nab her killer. “And it’s a lot of fun watching this ex-”90210″ star go from guy magnet to ghost [...]

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