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Lemme go! You’ll get it on my foot!
By ELB | January 28, 2008
Usually Smudge can not be carried enough, but when I tried to show her my cold sore Helen Keller style, she got super pissed. I should be grossed out by putting my cat’s foot near my mouth, but rest assured, her precious paw pads have never in their lives touched cat litter. She teeters on the edge of the box and bolts as soon as her job is done. She doesn’t even scratch around the box. Fortunately Gus is Mr. Neat and will spend long moments raking the litter like it’s his own personal Japanese meditation garden.
But Smudge had to suffer my attentions this evening, for I am cautiously optimistic. I am playing my cards close to my vest and will only say that today, I met very neat woman. She might be able to help me with this whole employment issue. But I’m not here to talk about that.
This morning I went to the Leaning Tower branch of the YMCA and worked out with my neighbor/landlord, Tracy. Turns out, all that shit they say about how exercise makes you feel better, strewth. Who knew?
Now, with all the working out and meeting neat women I’ve done today, I am all beat tired and shit. Oh, but for the past few nights I’ve been listening to Savage Love podcasts and I’m pretty sure that my deep and tender love for Dan Savage will help me through these rough times. He and I have a connection that’s really hard for people to understand. Like, the time I read one of his books and in the book he listed his childhood address here in Chicago, so I tracked down where it was and drove by, even though neither he nor anyone he knows lives there now. That’s not something a lot of women would do for a gay man they’ve never met. It’s especially special because Danny’s childhood stomping grounds happens to be the very same neighborhood where HGB attends baby school, so I get to drive near it on many days of the week. I understant that it takes work to keep an imaginary one-sided relationship afloat.
Topics: Chicago, Exciting, Possibly | 12 Comments »
January 29th, 2008 at 7:52 am
The next time you are at a doctor ask for a RX for Denavir creme applied at the first tingle of the cold sore it will prevent a gigantic erruption. It works I used to have the same stress induced issues.
Take Care
January 29th, 2008 at 8:10 am
yahooey!!! the feeling good feels good, don’t it? and just doing something about it feels good too! and stalking makes a fine hobby! :)
January 29th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Gurl, I’ve been job hunting too. My latest interview informed me that in the second round of interviews, there would be a dictaphone test! LULZ. Hold on, let me powder my wig, put in my wooden dentures and get my rickets-cane on standby!
I went online and searched, “Common interview questions” and man, there’s a lot of great info out there about how to be vague and still answer those shitty “what’s your greatest strength / weakness” questions. I found it quite helpful before this last interview. I hadn’t interviewed in almost 8 years. I forgot how hilarious it can be.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Dictaphone?! Wha? Are they going to make you demonstrate your knowledge of the ditto machine?
Stupid work.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I’m glad I could help you through this trying time. Keep an eye on the ol’ neighborhood for me…
xo
Dan
January 29th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Ditto on the Dan Savage. He and I were in the same bar a couple months ago and I could barely contain my excitement. I didn’t say hi. I just stared at him. Creepy! Wonderful.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Man, this comment thread makes me realize that the internet is my favorite invention since the Dictaphone.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Thanks Dan!
January 30th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Aw, you got some Savage love. That’s sweet!
January 30th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
ouch on the ol’ harpin’ herpy there… used to get ‘em all the time. tried it all. nothin worked ‘cept keepin it clean, dry and using l-lysine.
as for the job interview, the aloof snob who asked you that very typical adversity question? he’s a dirty twank. if it makes you feel any better, your response probably keeps him up at night now. in which case i’d consider it a win on your part. :)
January 31st, 2008 at 8:55 am
Hold on, I’ve got to make some mimeographs of Dan Savage’s awesome comment. Somebody find me some carbon paper!!!
God, remember how awesome mimeographs smelled when they were still wet? Was that rubbing alcohol? What was it? I’m having a seventies-childhood nostalgia moment here.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:22 am
I always heard a rumor that ditto fluid could double as nail polish remover. I have never tested this theory.
As for Dan Savage’s awesome comment, I feel like the coolest guy in school just smiled at me: Simultaneously retarded embarrassed and pissing my pants excited.