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I am stretched like a bowstring tonight
By ELB | February 28, 2008
The straight truth is, I don’t want to watch Luke and Noah and Muslim girl get harrassed today. I don’t want to watch something horrible happen. But what if it’s triumphant, and Luke and Noah become the Luke and Laura (SEE!) of the 21st century?
Fuck! Fine. Go.
Last time we saw the gang they had called it an afternoon and zonked out in the truck. Luke wakes up like, two hours later, with Muslim girl all snuggled up on Noah’s shoulder. Oh, he is pissed. Ohhh, there we go. Noah leans over and gets up on Luke.
Some assholes drive by and do the whole slow down, then drive away real fast bit. They do it twice and this forces Noah to swear. “Jerks!” he cries. Pontiac screeches to a halt, and the dudes like, flip a bitch right there in the road, and gun it. Luke shoves Noah out of the way just as the car screeches to a halt. The door swings open and beer cans cascade like a jackpot.
Out step some guys wearing tight jeans and lots of sporty layers. They think they’re owed an apology, but before Noah can step to, Muslim girl pops in. Surely these can’t be bigots right here in America. Looks like she’ll have to work her magical hoo-doo on these guys.
But before she gets a word out, the guy in the jeans wonders just how many of her relatives have killed American soldiers. That tears it, Noah lunges and jean jacket guy produces a tire iron out of nowhere and crowns Noah.
Seriously, guys, I’m not going to watch Luke and Noah get beat up. And I sure ain’t sticking around to see the tearful speech Muslim girl is sure to give about how she thought America was a magical land of dreams and riches, but in so many ways, it is no better than life under Saddaam. This is serious shit to think about people, like, when you get down to it, with this being an election year and all, you got to start asking a lot of questions. And who better than TV to give you some pointers?
Ugh, no, for real, I’ve had a crap-for-crap day today. There are some issues (nothing bad) percolating at home. In response to recent stress, and any other stress for that matter, I have laser focused on super soft-core escapism. I was home with HGB today and I was a terrible mother. We ran errands, which was made all the worse by the fact that the left-hand passenger door doesn’t function in below freezing temperatures, so rasslin’ HGB out of the car was a chore.
Then we came home, he snoozed, I applied Sally Hansen Maximum Gorwth Cuticle Pen like it was going out of style (seriously, for those of you who fuss your nails like I do, this is the best product ever made ever), and once he woke up, he kept shutting my computer and grabbing my hand, begging me to play Legos with him. I can’t even deal with Legos today, son, I can only live in an exciting fantasy land.
Well, as it turns out, a petulant child is far more insistent than an exciting fantasy land, so I got up, started drinking, and did my shit. I don’t know how I got up I’ve have only eaten about 15 bites of food today. I’m never, ever hungry, but my body insists on food. So when I eat anything it goes from being a nervous, rubber band ball empty stomach to a nervous, rubber band ball stomach with a mini gherkin in it. Right now I am searching my tool box for an awl because I have no additional belt holes to go down.
I feel like I’m going to shatter and the very last thing I want to see is Luke and Noah all beat up. Plus I’m not really into learning a lesson about tolerance right now.
Topics: ATWT, Television | 2 Comments »
February 28th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I’ve watched ATWT for 15 years. I am so happy that I stumbled onto your blog. Loving the recaps. Thank you!
February 29th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling stretched, Erin. Sending good thoughts your way right this minute.