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Oakdale is totally the new Green Zone
By ELB | February 22, 2008
Woah, woah, woah, hold up there one minute! I miss ATWT once and now there’s a Muslim girl sliding her eyes at Noah. What has happened in Oakdale? Thank god Luke, the gay everyone can agree on, cut right in there and put a stop to this brazen hussy’s advances. I could have sworn her hijab was from Baby Phat.
Earlier in the week someone stole something out of Noah’s backpack. We later learn that it’s a reconciliation letter from his father, which, of course, he wants nothing to to with. Luke has the audacity to let him know that maybe holding on to a bottomless pit of pointless rage really only hurts you. Noah flipped his lid. His Tru Luv BF is siding with his father?! Betrayal of the strictest order.
Luke manages to smooth things out with him by promising to love him forever no matter what. Then they go muck out the Snyder Farm stables. For real, guys. Now you’re actively avoiding being naked together. There was no devilish gleam in Luke’s eye when he suggested they go strip to the waist and fork around giant wads of manure. Growing up in a God fearing town like Oakdale, Luke knows that only denial and exhaustion will keep your mind off the Devil’s work.
Once their bracing chores were done, we were spared the slow motion dunking their heads in the water trough montage, the letter was gone.
Now there’s this Muslim girl following them home from the cafe. She knew Noah’s father in Iraq, and Noah’s father knew her mother…intimately. Now she fears for her life. Ouch, now Noah has to listen to her talk about how awesome his dad was, because he sent her money and stuff. But now her mother is dead and she must pay for the sins of her dead mom. So she just hopped on a plane and scooted herself right out of Tikrit or wherever, and made her way to the gentle hamlet that is Oakdale, ATWT, USA.
Naturally Noah doesn’t believe her, but she whips out a photo of his dad. All the proof he needs! That’ll stand up in a court of law. With that relationship established, Luke volunteers to let her stay there at Snyder Farm. I’m beginning understand why Snyder Farm is known as “The Winchester Mystery Mansion of Illinois.” How many rooms are in this thing?
“But wait,” says Muslim girl, “that boy doesn’t look like your brother…who could he be?” “My friend, “he says, clutching Luke’s hand tenderly. “My special friend.”
Fin
Oh, shit! Coming up on next week’s ATWT! Some guy yells ‘faggot’!
Topics: ATWT, Television | 4 Comments »
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Holy mother of mosh-pit pain, you are ON FIRE with these ATWT posts! I don’t even watch this one, but you actually make me wish I did. On second thought, fuck that — to watch the show would be to take away from the perfection that is your recappery. Carry on, and know that we all look to you …
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Thanks to a snowday I caught the tail end of ATWT and I about died when Luke and Noah held hands and said “special friend.”
And immediately I hoped you would recap today’s show. Yay!
February 24th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Can I just say I’m loving these recaps. I watch ATWT back in the days when Holden, Lily and Dusty had a love triangle going on. These post are the best and It makes me want to move to Oakdale USA to peak into the windows of Snyder farm!
February 26th, 2008 at 9:49 am
I was out sick a few days last week and I found myself rushing to the TV for ATWT because I have been reading your posts about Luke and Noah and I just had to see what all the fuss was about. I saw this specific episode and was like “Awww”. Since I’m better and it’s back to work this week, I look forward to your recaps to fill me in on what’s going on with our boys.