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six-inch whale blubber combo on rosemary foccaccia
By briantologist | February 13, 2008
Friends, it has been cold. It has been fucking cold, to trot out a popular obscene gerund.
I know perhaps a great many of you are also living in the upper Midwest, or perhaps the Northeast, and so it’s probable you’ve been experiencing much the same conditions we’ve been having in the Chicagoland area. In the past two weeks, I’d say we’ve had maybe a day and a half when the temperature crept above freezing; this 36-hour respite was quickly followed by another two days during which the mercury did not reach the double digits.
Even our brief foray into the sweltering upper thirties was nowhere near enough to melt the tons of snow that have been laying around for weeks on end. I’d say the “heat” burned off maybe the top third, after which the plummeting temperature froze the meltoff and slush into sheets of bumpy ice, upon which we then received a couple more inches of snow. It’s layering, and layering, and layering. The Midwest is running out of salt to de-ice the streets. Chicago has enough salt, but it’s running out of money to keep the streets clear. We’ve got like three-quarters of a can of Morton’s in the pantry, and Erin and I both know where the ice scraper brush is, so I suppose we’re one up on the city, which I’m sure we’ll take time to relish as soon as we figure out how we’re going to pay for health insurance.
It’s not just the cold that’s wearing me down. Or the snow. Okay, mostly it’s the cold and snow. But much more than that, it’s the long, dark, neverending slog of it all. It doesn’t go away. The snow doesn’t, and the cold doesn’t, and despite a surprise (and helpful) showing today, the Sun seems to be holding out for better weather nine days out of ten. I knew winter was gonna be a whole other bag up here when we moved, and I was excited to experience it. The tradeoff — a farewell to blistering summers — was well worth it. And compared to the unbelievable ice storms that stomped Tulsa and the rest of Oklahoma into the ground this winter, we got off easy (and are continuing to).
Also, please let it be noted that we in Chicagoland, the largest, dirtiest amusement park since Bell’s closed up shop, are continuing to experience cakewalk-like conditions compared to the frozen denizens of Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and (god help them) North Dakota. Indeed, I still experience some solace at the merest thought of what things have been like in Grand Forks these past few weeks.
However. All that being said, it’s still wearing me down. Again, the sun’s out today, and I can feel my rickets abating somewhat. But again, it’s the grind of it all that’s getting to me, and what we have to look forward to:
… is not lighting the Obamaesque gleam of hope in my eye, the one that’s usually reserved for taco night and trips to the liquor store.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings, Laments | 4 Comments »
February 13th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Man, that’s enough to make you want to vote for a candidate whose policy will be to actually accelerate global warming.
February 13th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Ok, as a Tulsan, I have to say I feel sorry for you. Yes, we got totally anally raped during the ice storm (we were one of the last 200 to get power, so we got a little extra penetration, ourselves), but like the metaphor, it happened, it was over, we got therapy, and now I’m sitting outside barefoot in 50 degree weather even though I have a cold.
Your winter is more of a slow torture “it takes the lotion from the basket” kind of hell. I’ll take my blistering summers and their excuse to be a) in the pool all the time, b) naked all the time, or c) both.
February 13th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I would take three winters in a row over an Oklahoma summer. For the rest of my life.
February 14th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
What if I named our first child Bersh?