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Remember when the Gay and the Muslim got married?
By ELB | March 10, 2008
If you’ll remember, Muslim girl has been hauled into Homeland Security and is being made to sit in a waiting room. She does not appear to be shackled to the chair, but she is wearing very drapey clothes, so it is unclear.
Luke and Noah and Lily and Holden come busting in to save the day. Then a fed comes in and tells everyone that he is very sorry, her visa has expired. She has to go back to Islamia and re-apply for a student visa. Noah then gets all butch, yelling at Tom Ridge about how sending her back to Islamia is giving her a DEATH SENTENCE. Everyone looks at each other all concerned for a good 15 seconds.
The only way Muslim girl can stay is if she gets married. Oh, shit, we saw that coming a mile away. What I did not see coming was stupid old Carly, who just saw the ventriloquists dummy [don't ask] on her couch, shopping at the goddam Dollar Tree. I’m stone serious you guys. They’ve taken the ATWT cameras outside the studio and are kickin’ it on location style. Carly is having a serious phone conversation while exiting a Dollar Tree. Who is on the phone? Doesn’t matter. What did Carly buy at Dollar Tree? That’s what I want to know. Off brand cleaning products? A plastic statuette of a rooster draped in the Confederate flag? Shower caps?
Here we go. Noah tells Luke he has to marry Muslim girl in order to keep his bastard father’s promises to her. Luke flips his atrociously styled wig. They share some tender looks and Noah promises that he is not going back in the closet. Then he finally, for the first time ever, tells Luke that he loves him. Music swells, eyes swell, lips quivver; they hug.
God, you guys, this is so lame. How did I get myself into this? Ok, Noah asks Muslim girl to marry him in name only; she demurs. For he can not marry her when he desires only to be with Luke. Even though Luke has horrible parted bangs these days. No, no, please, Noah insists. He would be honored to fake marry her so she can stay in Oakdale. As soon as she says yes, we see Luke make a pained and stricken face.
Well, hell, now I’m kinda heartbroken for Luke. See, this is a problem I’ve been having lately. To say I was super-into Torchwood is an understatement. I am seriously caught up in what is going on, to the point where I worry about it while I lay awake at night. For real, I’m concerned about what may or may not happen this season. I don’t need this kind of stress. I lay awake at night enough as it is. I can’t add ATWT to my list.
Topics: ATWT, Television, Torchwood | 4 Comments »
March 11th, 2008 at 10:45 am
So I just heard a rumor that on yesterday’s episode homosexualist Henry and Brad were in bed together. Please do report on this development when you get the chance.
March 11th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
See it all comes full circle. I told you she would find a husband in Oakdale!!! Fine so he wasn’t a Pakistani doctor who couldn’t get a residency at a hospital in Chicago, but I was still right. Seriously, I’m all Kelly Clarkson and watching this intense drama unfold daily “because of you”r recaps.
March 11th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Ok, I don’t know anything about Brad and Henry in the kip together, but that hooch Vienna was dancing in the sheets.
As for Muslim girl, I bet that was her plan all along. She lied about knowing terrorists so that Homeland Security would haul her in, thus prompting Noah to bust in there to save the day. She’s sneaky! Why is her head always covered? SNEAKY!
March 13th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Dunno if you’ve noticed, but your BlogHer ad is now a site advertising Muslim marriages. Ooooh the irony!