Archive for April, 2008
« Previous Entriesaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh
Monday, April 28th, 2008Okay, if you can think of something more horrifying than this that’s made the news in the last five years, please let me know, because I’m fully prepared to spend the next several weeks being exclusively horrified by this.
Yes, that is a guitar full of milk
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008Listen up, Internet. Have you seen this? You’re welcome.
Imagine a big Tim McVeigh right in your face
Monday, April 21st, 2008Yeah, so I just found out that the Seattle Supersonics are moving to Oklahoma City. Apparently this has been percolating for a while and I have just not been paying attention. Well, now I can’t stop thinking about it. You know why? I’ll tell you. Hopefully the Sonics will change their names when the move [...]
Dear Superdelegate Reggie Whitten of Oklahoma,
Friday, April 18th, 2008(From here) One superdelegate, Reggie Whitten of Oklahoma, endorsed Mr. Obama on Tuesday because, he said, he believed the candidate needed a new public vote as the Clinton camp was battering him daily over the bitter remark. “I don’t think all of this divisiveness is helping him, so it was a good time to send [...]
Mom called the Doctor, and the Doctor said, “No more homos jumpin’ on the bed!”
Thursday, April 10th, 2008Ohmigod, I don’t want to get ahead of myself or anything, but I think it may be time for Luke and Noah to finally do the deed. See, things were incredibly boring and ridiculous for a few weeks, so I didn’t want to recap them because they were so awful. Noah and Muslim girl are [...]
Dear Bohemian National Cemetery,
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008So I’ll admit I was a little concerned when, toward the end of our visit, we discovered the gates had been locked. But when Erin called the number on the office and a friendly man picked up and gave us directions to the service expert, the only black mark on our experience vanished. Beyond that, [...]
Keep my ass in the chair and keep reaching for the stars
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008From me to you, Doctor Who.
Dear April,
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008You’re fast approaching March in the overall undesirability category, despite my prior refutations of the Eliot’s notion that you, not your predecessor, are the cruelest month. Oh, you started off promising enough, with your three or four spectacularly beautiful days and that 12-hour period when I thought we were getting two grand back from The [...]
Dear SSRIs,
Monday, April 7th, 2008I sure do miss you when my prescription runs out. in rage, -b.
Dear TurboTax,
Sunday, April 6th, 2008I don’t know whether to blame you for offering me false hope, or myself for mistakenly checking that one solitary box, the one that made the difference between us getting $2,150 back from The Man this year and us owing The Man $386. I really don’t.* What I do know is that I was enjoying [...]
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