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By briantologist | June 19, 2008
We’re on day two of the Great Child-Free Odyssey of ’08, and I have not got the faintest goddamned idea what to do with myself. Tonight we ate kebabs and half-watched “Spider-Man 3.” Then I purchased three seperate versions of “Autumn Leaves” (did you know this is maybe one of my three favorite songs ever recorded? Because I think I’d forgotten until just now) from the Amazon MP3 store. Then I finished Erin’s beer when she went to bed. This handful of activity covers roughly four and a half hours. I’d say things have slowed down considerably here, except that on nights when Henry’s here with us, some variation on that incredibly mundane bit happens in pretty much exactly the same way, only over maybe two and a half hours.
I guess when you’re as much a creature of habit as I’ve always been, and thus as deeply steeped in routine, it’s more than just the usual kick in the parietal lobe when your routine suddenly has a chunk taken out of it. I kind of feel like I don’t know what I am anymore. Which sounds more melodramatic than it is, but is also kind of not a complete exaggeration. Factor in the fact that I’m prone to sitting and staring for long stretches, and presto! Now I’m wondering what I was before what I was became a guy who takes care of his kid, runs up credit card bills, drinks too much beer, and plays XBox 360.
I’m pretty sure it was all that other stuff, but without the kid. Or the Xbox. Since those weren’t around until sort of recently.
Soooo, yeah, back to drinking.
Topics: Baffled Mutterings | 7 Comments »
June 20th, 2008 at 5:03 am
So, how are you doing on the Ulysses project? I don’t think I’m past 100 pages yet. I also don’t know how I feel about this yet.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:08 am
I know that I should wait for you to reply before I slam down another comment, but this just couldn’t wait:
http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-do-the-robot-2
I can’t stop watching these clips. The girl in the fashion one has terrible skin, and I feel so bad for her. But it’s the “Dancin’ Kim” thing that is just nuking my brain.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:50 am
What is this thing you call “too much beer”?
A few years ago I had a similar experience of not knowing who I was anymore. I got pretty depressed but ultimately decided I was just taking myself way too seriously.
Plenty of people don’t know who they are. You can either put up a front and pretend you’re something you’re not or just relax and admit that you don’t know what you’re doing. I’ve been coasting in the latter group for quite a while now. I’m not saying it’s altogether healthy to succumb to that mindset but it sure beats stressing yourself out about some ideal of what you think you should be.
It’s like when you were younger and trying to get laid. The more stressed and nervous you got about it, the harder it was to attract any action. When you relaxed and said “fuck it, I’ll just hang out with friends and not worry about it” that’s usually when someone really interesting would come around.
Or maybe this is all bullshit. I certainly don’t feel qualified to dispense any advice but I think it helps to know other people are in the raft with you.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Send me your xbox user name, we’ll have to throw down on something. I play a fuckload of carcasonne, which I’m suddenly embarrassed to admit in a public place.
June 22nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
eh, beer, video games, credit card bills — all part of the transitory nature of life. Don’t take it too seriously. Tomorrow, something different. Today, laugh. It’s all there is.
With that in mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT42Iq1qKkY
June 24th, 2008 at 8:47 am
If you haven’t already heard about it (and really, how could you not?), this should cheer you up:
Rocklahoma
Just look at that sucktacular lineup of cock rock and hair metal.
June 29th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I quit my job and made my blog public.