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crushless
By briantologist | August 12, 2008
Hey, did you know the Olympics are on? The Olympics are on! It’s true! Totally. Also apparently “Chuck” premieres soon.
I would not pretend to be unmoved by these games; I was completely blown away by the opening ceremony, even if the fireworks footsteps across Beijing were taped in advance and they totally pulled a “Dreamgirls” with that singing kid.
But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t something missing from these games for both E and me. One thing missing for each of us, actually; one person each, really. I’m speaking of course of swimming stars Inge de Bruijn and Ian Thorpe. As detailed here, our burning crushes on these two really brought the ’04 games that much closer to our hearts, and their retirements have left us feeling that much less mildly dirty about the Olympics this year.
One moves on, I suppose, as one must, but it’s been difficult. For starters, Michael Phelps is just a straight-up mouth breather, record-shatterer though he may be. As for the lady swimmers, up until just tonight there was absolutely nobody on my radar, though in the last hour or so I’ve realized that Aussie gold medalist Stephanie Rice is not too shabby herself, and also I think she was looking at me earlier this evening. No, seriously, look:
I mean, that’s how E looked at me the night we met, is all I’m saying. If that doesn’t say “Hey there, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick you up later!”, I don’t know what does.
Plus apparently she’s newly single and modeling underwear:
no, for real, just one more:
So yeah, all right, fine, I guess.
But I can’t help but think she’ll never understand me the way Inge did.
Topics: Hoo!, Laments, Television | 5 Comments »
August 13th, 2008 at 8:24 am
So funny! I keep thinking Michael Phelps is such an ordinary, geeky guy – if it weren’t for swimming, he’d just be another kid on campus. Cool, eh?
August 13th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I had a little crush on Phelps until this morning, when I found out he literally eats 12,000 calories a day, mostly made up of fried egg sandwiches and other crap, and that his mom still does all his laundry. Suddenly I found myself completely out of crush with him.
August 13th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
There’s no doubt that Phelps has none of the finesse of the Thorpedo. Or the adorable immigrant charm of Lenny Krayzelburg. Still, I can’t help crushing on Phelps, mouthbreathing mamma’s boy from B’more that he is.
Brian, Inge was some serious hot ass.
On a related note, can anyone explain to me why NBC insists on showing all the sexy after 11pm? I’m consistently asleep (passed out) by then! Gar!!
August 18th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Long-time reader, but first-time poster because I had to publicly appreciate your fantastic hidden reference.
“Hey there, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick you up later!”
Mr Microphone!!!! Made me laugh.
–JP
August 21st, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I, too, loved the Mr. Microphone reference. I am always assured of a good laugh here.