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well, hell.
By briantologist | February 1, 2009
Ladies, gentlemen. A football game has got me writing again, which means it’s gotten me re-committed to failing at NaBloPoMo again. Who knows, it’s a short month this time; maybe I’ll only miss the last six posts instead of the last twelve.
The fucking Cardinals were supposed to win tonitght, people. Anybody who’s seen either last year’s Super Bowl or any American movie made between the dawn of time and now can tell you this. One of Santonio Holmes’s feet should’ve been out of bounds, or he should’ve bobbled the catch at the last second, or fuck, whatever, but crazy-ass Jesus Nut Kurt Warner should’ve pulled yet another insane Super Bowl victory out of his giant Bible tonight so we could still believe in the underdog.
I mean, okay, it’s not like nobody’s gonna think the underdog can pull it off anymore because of this one game. Arizona played their asses of tonight, and could almost just have won this mother. Almost. But not quite. I mean, but look. The incoherent old millionaire who owns the Steelers just thanked President Obama. So there’s that.
But I mean, look: I can never feel too bad when it’s the Steelers winning. It’s crazy — even though they’ve now won more Super Bowls than any team in the history of the NFL, I don’t begrudge them for it. I think it’s because it’s the ‘Burgh, and because it’s impossible to hate big goofy Ben Roethlisberger the way I hate, say, Tom Fucking Brady. I mean, there’s no comparison. The Steelers somehow manage to be the underdogs of the insanely winning teams in the NFL. I don’t know how they do it, but they do.
Though not to rub it in, but WHERE IS YOUR JESUS NOW, KURT WARNER?
I’m sorry. I had to. It wasn’t necessary, but it was neccesary for me.
P.S. — OMG WHY THE FUCK IS E.R. STILL ON FUCKING TELEVISION AFTER 900 YEARS WTF.
Topics: Laments | 1 Comment »
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
Word. Enough, ER. Enough.
Also, I care notatall about football except that I’m from Boston and I root for the Patriots, but I also love rooting for the underdog and that’s what I was doing last night at a super bowl party. As I was yelling for the red team to go go go I made a quiet aside that it didn’t actually matter much to me since I’d never heard of either of these teams. Then Douchey McGee sitting next to me said that if I’d never heard of the Steelers then I have never heard of the NFL. Apparently they’re really good or something? Whatevs, I wish the red team had won if only to make Douchey McGee shut up. That’s how it would have ended in the movie version of my super bowl party.