Existential Horror
« Previous EntriesThe Day The Super Bowl Ads Hated Women
Sunday, February 7th, 2010Three, count ‘em, three companies made a point of reminding all the dudes watching how awful it is to be forced, FORCED, to spend time with women. Let’s compare, shall we? 1. Dodge Charger: For When You Hate Your Wife, and the Life You Have Because of Her! A subtle reminder of some Very Important [...]
The Day We Ran Out of Nutella
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010Yeah, not a lot going on for Wednesday. But seriously, my options were this or like, “The Day I Went to Evanston For Another Meeting,” and I hope you can guess which incident I’d rather tell you about. Well, all right, fine, there’s not really much more to tell. Except that Trader Joe’s has these [...]
boom, boom; boom boom.
Thursday, September 4th, 2008Talking about how fucking awesome Jon Stewart has by this point become tantamount to bending someone’s ear about how sex is fun, or how food is necessary to sustain life. The forward-thinking reader will have already determined that this statement is a segue into a diatribe about how fucking awesome Jon Stewart is. For the [...]
90210: The Zombie Corpse Rises
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008From the Yahoo TV listing for tonight’s premiere of the reanimated 90210: “When a dedicated teacher and his family return to his childhood home of Beverly Hills so he can look after his ailing but still expansively vivacious mother, they all have to adjust: his athlete wife becomes personal trainer to the rich parents of [...]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh
Monday, April 28th, 2008Okay, if you can think of something more horrifying than this that’s made the news in the last five years, please let me know, because I’m fully prepared to spend the next several weeks being exclusively horrified by this.
Shuffling on bloody stumps through Roscoe Village
Thursday, March 27th, 2008Yesterday I had my Lady Professional interview, so I got all gussied up and, after getting some useless advice from my neighbor on which sweater to wear, I set off looking great. I felt great too, that is, until I had gotten four steps out of my front door. My stylish new shoes were agony [...]
seconding that emotion.
Wednesday, November 14th, 2007You’re The Sound and the Fury! by William Faulkner Strong-willed but deeply confused, you are trying to come to grips with a major crisis in your life. You can see many different perspectives on the issue, but you’re mostly overwhelmed with despair at what you’ve lost. People often have a hard time understanding you, but [...]
delightful
Wednesday, November 7th, 2007Please do yourself a small favor and realize, after reading this, that your cubicle is maybe not the absolute worst in the entire world. Even if you, as I did, notice some glaring consistencies with your own work environment in this tour through the cubicle hellscape.
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Wednesday, June 27th, 2007Currently we’re enjoying a holiday in scenic Baltimer, MD, home of crab cakes, John Waters, “The Wire,” and E’s dad. This comes on the heels of some hot convention action E had in our nation’s capital, so naturally we took advantage. Did you know it costs like $109 with tax, round-trip, to fly from Chicago [...]
Dear American Idol,
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007NOTE: These are the notes I took for this week’s Idol post, which seem to have become an applicable substitute for this week’s Idol post. Though they were posted after tonight’s results show, rest assured they were composed before tonight’s broadcast. As evidenced by the fact that I did not pick the correct loser. So. [...]
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