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    Dear American Idol,

    Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

    Again this week, I will be writing you, Idol, as ELB has been struck by a protracted case of The Vapors; I believe she contracted it from Gus. Tonight, it appears Seacrest is supporting the hungry by donating his shaving supplies to the Red Cross. Somewhere in Malawi, someone’s face is baby-soft. Meanwhile, in Los [...]

    one more night.

    Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

    We’re in the home stretch, people. Tonight was the last night of auditions, which leaves only tomorrow night’s “Best of the Rest” special to go before I can crawl into a hole and whimper until season 7 rolls around. Lots of Other Door action this time around. Good stuff.

    kill me. just kill me.

    Thursday, February 1st, 2007

    Honestly people, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. They said tonight there’s at least one more day of auditions next week, and I almost cried. Click. Just click.

    slouching toward Fallujah

    Friday, January 26th, 2007

    Here’s night 4. It’s just … it keeps getting worse.

    god damn.

    Wednesday, January 24th, 2007

    Pics from the third evening of auditions are now up. Memphis. Disturbing stuff. I encourage you to click the photo above, of the man who appears to be opening up his junk drawer, if you will.

    “It was all so real …”

    Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you one Nicholas Zitzmann, who, it must be said, sings with every bit of soul you’d expect from a software engineer from Utah. I took extra pictures of “The Zitz” because something about him struck me in a way I couldn’t immediately describe. I mean, sure, obviously he’s a [...]

    on like Attila the Hon.

    Tuesday, January 16th, 2007

    People, I have so many pictures of the television from tonight’s “American Idol” premiere, you would totally believe it. I seriously have to go to bed, and don’t have time to post them all yet, but trust me, they’re coming. I think it’s gonna be something truly special this year. In the meantime, please enjoy [...]

    From Tragic to Stupid.

    Monday, January 15th, 2007

    Now, in the name of following up something heartbreaking with something just blatantly jack-stupid, I present to you a running commentary on the Golden Globes. Your chance to bail out ends after the jump.

    um.

    Friday, October 13th, 2006

    So, yeah. There’s this. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve still got the receipt for the moving van that took us here. Then again, I’m pretty sure somebody must’ve declared every day “Jesus Day” in the entire state of Oklahoma a long time ago, so eh. Still, though, come the fuck on, Daley. You’re part [...]

    oh dear GOD.

    Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

    Tiny E just alerted me to something truly awful that’s slated to happen on VH1′s “Flavor of Love” this Sunday, a show wherein Flava Flav woos bitches en masse, apparently in hopes of finding some sort of uber-whore, some slut Serpentor (Serpentwhore?) assembled from the DNA of the skankiest bitches through space and time. Read [...]

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