byrneunit » Fucking Awesome

Tonight at 10

briantologist — Tue, 10 May 2011 02:08:44 +0000

One of my favorite things is when the DVR starts recording in the middle of a sentence. This goes double when it’s a news promo. This goes triple when the sentence fragment is the one I just heard in this context:

“—wading into the snake-infested floodwaters.”

This Poo Shall Pass

briantologist — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:03:03 +0000

There are any number of arguments against Facebook, many of which I subscribe to myself.

But when a website offers you the phrase “Mailman shitting in someone’s yard” and gives you the option of clicking a “Like” button underneath it, it’s hard to call that anything but a win for America.

That Sound You Hear is Your Whole Entire Brain Imploding

briantologist — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 12:55:11 +0000

You’re welcome.

(extra wonderful props to Laurel for this.)

Every Day an Adventure

briantologist — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 02:53:13 +0000

ME: So how was your day at school, Henry?

HENRY: Well ... Guess whose pants these used to be?

The Day Henry Had a Million-Dollar Idea.

briantologist — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 01:44:14 +0000

Henry: Okay, how about this! It’s a chocolate bar, and when you rub it on your skin, it makes you stay alive forever!

Me: (silently nodding in agreement, secure in the knowledge we do not have to worry about saving for retirement.)

I mean, seriously, think about this.

Who doesn’t love chocolate?
Who doesn’t love immortality?

To those who discount the public school system I say piffle.

The Day I Saw an Ad That Was Awesome.

briantologist — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 04:18:32 +0000

“I’m on a horse.”

The Day I Read a Really Terrific Story.

briantologist — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:11:33 +0000

Apparently it’s been making the round on the Internets of late, but I read this story about Roger Ebert for the first time today and it moved me in a way I have trouble fully expressing. I love reading about him and his wife, and how they are when they’re together after decades of marriage. I love how you get to see him giddy after an incredible film. Reading about his face now that it’s half gone, I could completely picture him enraged or morose, even with his strange loose smile permanently hanging where his jaw isn’t.

It’s just an incredibly fucking well-written story, is what I’m getting at here, and the bonus is that Esquire links to Ebert’s response (also good) and a profile Ebert wrote of Lee Marvin in 1970 that Ebert considers among his best work (it is). I am now compelled to read Chris Jones’s other stuff from Esquire; if it’s a tenth as good, it’ll be worth looking into.

The Day I Saw a Major Award

briantologist — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:59:34 +0000

I saw this in the window of the apartment building across from the coffee shop about 45 minutes ago, and it’s been making me chuckle ever since.

That’s right, people. This is A Major Award.

I love this town.

The Day We Got a Break.

briantologist — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:51:30 +0000

When I woke up this morning there was none of the usual drone from Nick Jr. in the living room. Only what sounded like a semi-serious conversation from behind Henry’s bedroom door between him and the girl who lives upstairs. She’s two years older than him; her brother is two years older than her, and they all get together in one combination or another on a not-infrequent basis.

Erin was quietly reading in the living room. Did I mention the TV was off? The TV was off. I had no idea what a difference this made to me, but wow, seriously. Hello, silence. Nice to see you again. (Har.)

And that was how it went for most of the day. Henry was either playing those two in his room, or in the basement (it’s finished into a large playroom that’s kind of nicer than our apartment in some ways) or upstairs, and basically being far more self-contained than usual, and how many times have I said “wow” in this post so far? That number is not high enough.

They were still going 45 minutes ago when I left to do some work at the coffee shop. Erin was waking up from a nap.

This is The Day We Got a Break. This is a fine, fine day.

the things you find out.

briantologist — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:32:31 +0000

So here’s something I came across in the past year and a half and didn’t bother telling anyone about. I had a temp job this spring proofreading grocery circulars, as sadly that’s become one of my areas of expertise. Catercorner from the building I worked in for a few weeks was this strange little building, sitting there dwarfed on all sides by glass and steel —

"Don't mind me. Just sitting here."

— and sporting this logo:

Downtown Chicago, Randolph & Franklin

The more I looked, the better it got — see the awesome details above the windows above, or better (and grainier) below.

Elephants!

So being, as I am, a deeply curious individual, I got right to investigating this after the traditional six-month waiting period. And let me tell you: After reading this, I wish I’d only waited four months. What’s the Showmen’s League? Oh, nothing much, just an organization for performers co-founded by none other than Buffalo Bill Motherscratchin’ Cody! By the circus people, and for the circus people! You can’t make shit like this up.

Not only that, their website led me to this completely haunting story, and you damn well believe we’ll be planning a field trip to Woodlawn Cemetery and the Showmen’s Rest. If this phrase alone doesn’t do it for you:

Set in Woodlawn Cemetery, surrounded by five elephants, trunks lowered in mourning, it remains the final resting place for many of our brothers.

… I don’t know what to tell you.

This is why I love this town, people. I’ll be exploring it my whole life and I’ll never learn everything.