General Irritants
« Previous EntriesThe Day I Had to Buy a New Car Battery
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010We were dropping Henry at school, and Erin was gonna drop me at the coffee shop afterward. I work there frequently, exercising my limitless freedom as a telecommuter by purchasing sandwiches I can’t afford. We stopped in the bus zone, put the blinkers on, and stood around in the snow as Henry made little snowballs [...]
I have eaten so many clementines today!
Thursday, December 13th, 2007I bought a li’l mini-crate of these zesty treasures and I can not keep my fingers out of them. I’m starting to develop a rough, burny sensation all around the inside of my mouth. I think that feeling makes me want to eat more. Like, they cause the pain, but the only way to soothe [...]
daylight SUCK time, is more like it
Monday, November 5th, 2007Last winter when the clocks fell back, I was too armpit-deep in bafflement and wonder at our new home and its countless wonders* to pay much attention to the toll that the end of Daylight Saving Time took. At some point I looked up and realized it was only light for two hours a day, [...]
Dear Editor,
Friday, September 21st, 2007NOTE: Dude, there’s totally a TU-OU game on ESPN2 tonight! In HD! So obviously we’re watching. Except there’s this nagging problem with the coverage, which resulted in the following irritated e-mail from me to ESPN: I’ve been tuned into the TU-OU game for half an hour now, and I’ve heard approximately 2 minutes of announcing [...]
Did you know?
Saturday, March 31st, 2007Guess how much it costs to fly a family of three from Chicago to Tulsa! Go ahead, take a guess. Just a stab. Here, I’ll give you a hint: It’s a thousand dollars. True story. Apparently when we priced tickets for the holidays last year? Those weren’t expressly “Holiday prices” per se, so much as [...]
fascinating
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007Two facts I did not fully realize before this morning: 1. There is a small switch located on the back of the neck of every child born to humankind. This switch has two positions: Position A is “TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS”; Position B is “NOT A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS.” 2. This switch [...]
Attention, please.
Sunday, October 30th, 2005I hereby declare Jihad on the following: In a movie wherein one or more police officers interact with small children, one child asks one or more of the cops, “Can I see your gun?” Three decades of movies desperately milking this lazy, shitty gag is more than enough, Hollywood. (And those are just the ones [...]
“Progress as Promised.”
Tuesday, August 9th, 2005Lest you fear I now do nothing but take baby pictures, rest assured, good persons of the Internets, and view these gratuitous, tiresome kitty pictures, taken mostly since Henry Beans was born.
You ain’t got no alibi
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005So my dear Ms. Brown sent me this mildly hilarious article from the New York Times (you’ve gotta be registered to read it, but registering is free) about a study showing that parents seem generally less concerned with the safety and well-being of unattractive children than attractive ones. In addition to being funny, it got [...]
“Outage.”
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005So apparently some fucking cocksucker tried so hard to spam the wife and I that the activity nearly crashed the server it’s hosted on, prompting our hosting company to suspend our sites all day until I promised to be more vigilant about blocking spam. Apparently running MT-Blacklist sixteen times a day isn’t fucking vigilant enough; [...]
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